Daddy, Momma! I made a friend. His name is Ike, and he ain’t got no tail because they chopped it off, but Aidan didn’t cop it off. Tourists chopped it off. But then Aiden went and fought the tourist. I hope we don’t get no tourists here. We wou...
Dating is like trying to make a meal out of leftovers. Some leftovers actually get better when they've had a little time to mature. But others should be thrown out right away, No matter how you try to warm them up, they're never as good as when they ...
What the fuck are you laughing at, Godfrey?” Johnson moved away from Day. “You, daddy’s boy.” “Fuck you. I know Day is just showing off for you.” Johnson turned back to look at Day. “I’ll be sure to catch you when you’re alone.” �...
All of them are the same type; girls with overprocessed hair and too much makeup and way too much access to Daddy’s credit cards. Girls who, if you took away the designer labels, hair dye and cover-up, wouldn’t be more than average-looking, but w...
Don't cry. She wouldn't like it. When I missed my father, I used to cry. Mama taught me when I cry, he is sad and will cry, too. I don't want my daddy sad. I'm sure you don't want your daughter sad, too.
She spoke throught her teeth. "Almost, dear. What were the real words you used? The bad words. It's okay to say them again, just this once." I shrugged, "fine. I said'. . . just 'cause Daddy wants you to suck on his ding-a-ling.
Daddy,” said the toddler, now seething with righteous indignation, “you are a poo-poo head!” Feigning outrage, JFK lowered his voice. “John,” he said, “no one calls the President of the United States a poo-poo head.
I had to get some things right in my personal life. And once I got my family on the same page, to understand who I am and what I do for a living, I asked my oldest daughter, 'What do you think about Daddy coming back?' And she said, 'I didn't think y...
Before I was going to be an actress, I was going to be a veterinarian! I thought I was one as a child. I was the kid who was like, 'Daddy! I want a kitty! It needs a mommy!' And my dad was such a sucker. Every time I would beg, with tears flying down...
We FaceTime and Skype. My two older kids got iPods for their birthdays, so they can FaceTime their dad whenever they need him. They always get a six o'clock call right after dinner, and I make sure I talk to each child. Even my 1-year-old gets on the...
When my daughter was 3, she was eating Cheerios and spilled some on the table. So she swiped them onto the floor. I said, 'Darcy, what are you doing?' She said: 'Don't worry, Daddy, the robot will get it.' I didn't know whether to be horrified or pro...
Sophia: All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my uncles. I had to fight my brothers. A girl child ain't safe in a family of men, but I ain't never thought I'd have to fight in my own house!
Mister Senor Love Daddy: Today's temperature's gonna rise up over 100 degrees, so there's a Jheri curl alert! That's right, Jheri curl alert. If you have a Jheri curl, stay in the house or you'll end up with a permanent black helmet on your head fuh-...
Tatiana: Nooo! Don't go. I'm scared. Oscar Grant: Scared of what? Tatiana: I hear guns outside. Oscar Grant: You know what, baby? Those are just firecrackers. You'll be safe inside, with your cousin. Tatiana: But what about you Daddy? Oscar Grant: Me...
Andy: Watch this. [Data's father takes a camera out of his jacket and proceeds to take a picture but the film falls out. Andy starts laughing] Andy: He's just like his father. Data: [in Chinese] That's okay daddy. You can't hug a photograph. Mr. Wang...
The Bullet Farmer: Come on! I've been called to the torture! Immortan Joe: Patience! The Bullet Farmer: Oh, you stay here with your grief, daddy. I'll fetch 'em for ya. The People Eater: Be careful! Protect the assets! The Bullet Farmer: Just one ang...
Eva: So, the daddy bear plants his seed in the mommy bear and it grows into an egg. Kevin, 6-8 Years: Is this about fucking? Eva: Do you know what that means? Kevin, 6-8 Years: The boy puts his pee pee in the girls doo doo.
I have my father's lopsided mouth. When I smile, my lips slope to one side. My doctor sister calls it my cerebral palsy mouth. I am very much a daddy's girl, and even though I would rather my smile wasn't crooked, there is something moving for me abo...
Gripped with bitter cold, ice-locked, Petersburg burned in delirium. One knew: out there, invisible behind the curtain of fog, the red and yellow columns, spires, and hoary gates and fences crept on tiptoe, creaking and shuffling. A fevered, impossib...
I'm the idiot box. I'm the TV. I'm the all-seeing eye and the world of the cathode ray. I'm the boob tube. I'm the little shrine the family gathers to adore.' 'You're the television? Or someone in the television?' 'The TV's the altar. I'm what people...
The first one to bed always lit the candle, and the last one turned out the lamp....The tradition had seen them through quite a bit by now, and Rebecca had come to love the candlelight, not only because it meant that Mike loved to see her just the wa...
