I used to cheerlead in high school, and I had the biggest crush on one of my teammates' brothers. I was a great tumbler, so when he showed up at practice one day, I tried to impress him, but I ended up landing on my face! When I got off the ground, I...
In a faraway land called 'pre-2000,' what Earthlings now call blogging was called 'keeping a diary.' It's hard work to do well. I tried doing it in the early 1990s but had to stop because I no longer had a life - instead I had this thing that generat...
You compare the nation to a parched piece of land and the tax to a life-giving rain. So be it. But you should also ask yourself where this rain comes from, and whether it is not precisely the tax that draws the moisture from the soil and dries it up....
Life is a relentless expulsion from where we come from and an ongoing deportation to alien realms. We are in exile and our greatest dream is to return to the lost land. It is the greatest dream because no matter how long our exile is going to last, t...
Baseball calls it a curve ball for a reason: you just don't know where some pitches will land. Your ace could get injured. Your golden glover could err. Your team could sit through a rain delay. Your manager could get ejected. Your bench must be broa...
This is what reading is like to me. It's finding a spring in the midst of a barren land. Just when I think I might up and die of thirst, I stumble onto this fresh, cold water, and I'm suddenly given this new life because I can-and do-drink to my hear...
The Constitution of the United States is a glorious standard; it is founded in the wisdom of God. It is a heavenly banner; it is to all those who are privileged with the sweets of liberty, like the cooling shades and refreshing waters of a great rock...
Just in general as a person, not necessarily as a songwriter, being in cities wasn't the right fit. I couldn't escape and be in the woods in 10 minutes if I needed to. I like that in Eau Claire, I can walk to a bar or a coffee shop, and there's city-...
Writing doesn’t get any easier with time or talent. If writing is easy for you, you’re probably still learning the craft. You haven’t perfected your style or landed upon your “voice.” You haven’t learned to analyze your writing with a cri...
Maybe you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth, but like every American, you carry a deed to 635 million acres of public lands. That's right. Even if you don't own a house or the latest computer on the market, you own Yosemite, Yellowstone,...
C.P. Kennedy: Now, what exactly is our target juror? Judge Joseph Palmer: Intelligent people who will listen to instructions and follow the evidence. Hank Palmer: Crackpots. Those I can persuade to swallow their own tongue. Anyone who's seen a Sasqua...
Reggie Lampert: Well, wasn't it Shakespeare that said, "When strangers do meet in far off lands, they should e'er long see each other again"? Peter Joshua: Shakespeare never said that! Reggie Lampert: How do you know? Peter Joshua: It's terrible. You...
Grange: So that, I take it, was the late, great Eric Draven. Myca: [studying the crow's feather] He has power. But it is power you can take from him. Top Dollar: I like him already. Myca: The crow is his link between the land of the living, and the r...
Two-Face: [threatening Jimmy with a gun] Tell your boy it's going to be all right, Gordon. Lie, like I lied. Lt. James Gordon: It's going to be all right, son. [Two-Face flips the coin; Batman tackles him and they fall; the coin lands good-side up]
[first title card] Title card: There was a land of Cavaliers and Cotton Fields called the Old South... Here in this pretty world Gallantry took its last bow... Here was the last ever to be seen of Knights and their Ladies Fair, of Master and of Slave...
Howl: The Witch of the Waste and Madame Sulliman's dog at my table? What possessed you to let them in my house Calcifer: I didn't let them in here! Sophie crash landed her plane into my face! Howl: [Laughs] Old Sophie: Hmph! Howl: I knew she'd make a...
Hubert: Heard about the guy who fell off a skyscraper? On his way down past each floor, he kept saying to reassure himself: So far so good... so far so good... so far so good. How you fall doesn't matter. It's how you land!
Buzz: [lands on the bed after his lucky acrobatic maneuver] Can! Rex: [the toys applaud and whistle] Whoooa! Oh wow, you flew magnificently! Bo Peep: I've found my moving buddy! Buzz: [proudly] Thank... th-thank you all, thank you! Woody: That wasn't...
Wichita: [playing Monopoly] Ooh! Free parking... Little Rock: Yeah. Wichita: -which coincidentally is the best thing about Zombieland. Columbus: You want to know the best thing about Z-land? No- no Facebook status updates. You know, Rob Curtis is gea...
Bruce Wayne: Who is he? [implying the man imprisoned in a wooden cage] Henri Ducard: He was a farmer. Then he tried to take his neighbor's land and became a murderer. Now he is a prisoner. Bruce Wayne: What'll happen to him? Henri Ducard: Justice. Cr...
...it is only when a man goes out into the world with the thought that there are heroisms all round him, and with the desire all alive in his heart to follow any which may come within sight of him, that he breaks away... from the life he knows, and v...
