But I also know in standup, there's nowhere to hide. You get on stage and you deliver, or you are eviscerated and you are thrown into a pile of bodies at the bottom of a mountain.
Well, Mitt Romney is a very attractive comedic target. He's irresistible to me. I mean, seriously, I want to pay less attention to him.
People who concern themselves with the rights of other adults who engage in consensual acts involving sex, love, and/or eating croissants together are damaged and in pain.
For eight years, you had the Bush administration with a very interventionist policy, driving into world affairs, driving primarily into the Islamic world, army first or fist first.
Booming cities, and the provinces and states in which they are located, are driving forces in economic growth today. Consequently, they constitute the new frontier in America's international economic policy.
I think one of the most difficult things for anyone who's played baseball is to accept the fact that maybe the players today are playing just as well as ever.
I think one of the biggest scams in law enforcement is the monitor.
There's no wobble in Bush. If anything, the opposite. Right after hello, the next words out of his mouth are: I've never been more convinced that the decisions I made are the right decisions.
In person, George W. Bush is extremely forceful. He has a restless energy when he sits in a chair, and nearly leaps out of it when making certain points.
When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day
These vessels are out of sight, out of mind. They are exempt from minimum-wage requirements, from Coast Guard inspections, OSHA regulations and other safety laws.
At least in Phoenix, you can get off the main highways and take side streets to where you want to go. In L.A., you can't. You're stuck.
I always try to act as though there is a little boy or a little girl around, and I try never to do anything that would give them a bad example.
Major League Baseball has prostate awareness for two weeks leading up to Father's Day, and I want to get involved in that.
I would not say that George Bush doesn't care about people at all. I think that his loyalties are to the upper class.
I don't generally like running. I believe in training by rising gently up and down from the bench.
My feet ain't got nothing to do with my nickname, but when folks get it in their heads that a feller's got big feet, soon the feet start looking big.
Galileo got it wrong. The earth does not revolve around the sun. It revolves around you and has been doing so for decades. At least, this is the model you are using.
Executives don't burn out and leave when they feel deep satisfaction. They don't create the human detritus that disgruntled managers do.
If the universe is friendly, then it is indeed aware of us and works to help us. So there are no 'unfortunate accidents,' and everything that happens is orchestrated in an elaborate and complicated manner to be of benefit to us.
Whenever you're feeling grateful, you are not feeling frustrated and angry and all those negative states that we go into. And that's a big benefit in and of itself.
