Mechanic 2: Ain't never seen anyone so shit-all stupid as you driving off that road. You musta got manure for your brains. Clark: Yeah, well, I'm from out of town. So, what's the bill? Come on, come on, how much? Mechanic 1: How much you got? Clark: ...
Jeannine: [In a McDonalds restaurant booth Conrad sits with Jeannine, the suicide attempt scars on Conrad's wrist are displayed] Did it hurt? Conrad "Con" Jarrett: I don't remember, really. Jeannine: You don't want to talk about it? Conrad "Con" Jarr...
[Jack sees Mr. Cotton's parot] Jack Sparrow: Well! I'm actually feeling rather good about this. I think we all arrived at a very special place eh? [Governor acts disgusted] Jack Sparrow: Spiritually. Ecumenically. Grammatically. [Walks over to Common...
Cornwall Cousins: Charles, is Jack Barry single? Charles Van Doren: I think so. Cornwall Cousins: My roommate has a huge crush on him, she wants you to introduce her. Cornwall Cousins: What's Dave Garroway like? Charles Van Doren: Cheap. Cornwall Aun...
Glen: How many Polacks it take to screw up a lightbulb? H.I.: I don't know, Glen. One? Glen: Nope, it takes three. [Glen laughs. H.I. doesn't] Glen: Wait a minute, I told it wrong. Here, I'm startin' over: How come it takes three Polacks to screw up ...
Dot: [GASPS after seeing Nathan Jr] What's his name? Ed McDonnough: Uh... Hi... Hi Junior, till we think of a better one. Dot: Why don't ya call him Jason? l just love biblical names. If I had another little boy, I'd name him Jason, Caleb or Tab. [GA...
H.I.: That night, I had a dream. I drifted off thinking about happiness, birth and new life, But now I was haunted by a vision of... He was horrible. The lone biker of apocalypse. A man with all the powers of Hell at his command. He could turn turn t...
Mr. White: [snatches Joe's address book] Give me this fucking thing. Joe: What do you think you're doing? Give me back my book! Mr. White: I'm sick of fucking hearing it Joe, I'll give it back to you when we leave. Joe: What do you mean, give it to m...
Charlie: Hey Raymond, remember today when the doctor was asking you those questions? How'd you know the answers? Raymond: [while brushing his teeth at the same time, Charlie can't make out what he said] I see it. Charlie: What? Stop that for a second...
[last lines] Niki Lauda: Of course he didn't listen to me. For James, one world title was enough. He had proved what he needed to prove. To himself and anyone who doubted him. And two years later, he retired. When I saw him next in London, seven year...
[Following Lauda's press conference, Hunt approaches the British journalist that offended Lauda] British Journalish: James, are you all right? James Hunt: Good, yeah. Listen, I think I've got something for you on that last question, about Niki. Briti...
General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war? Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No, I don't think I do, sir, no. General Jack D. Ripper: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50...
Stanley Kowalski: Take a look at yourself here in a worn-out Mardi Gras outfit, rented for 50 cents from some rag-picker. And with a crazy crown on. Now what kind of a queen do you think you are? Do you know that I've been on to you from the start, a...
Jack: Listen, man. Cammi gets off in an hour, so I was thinking I'd just hang around and have a drink, and make sure she gets home safe. Miles Raymond: You're joking, right? Jack: No. Miles Raymond: Un-fucking-believable. Can't we just... go back to ...
Joe: [trying to get Jerry to face reality regarding his engagement to Osgood] Jerry, Jerry, will you take my advice? Forget about the whole thing, will ya? Just keep telling yourself: you're a boy, you're a boy. Jerry: I'm a boy. Joe: That's the boy....
Mrs. Cunningham: You know, I read of a case once. I think it would be a wonderful idea! I can take him out in the car, and when we get to a very lonely spot, knock him on the head with a hammer, pour gasoline over him and over the car, and set the wh...
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: I may throw up on ya. James T. Kirk: I think these things are pretty safe. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Don't pander to me, kid. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in thirteen seconds. Solar flare might crop up, cook us i...
Captain Shakespeare: [whispers] Yvaine... I know what you are. [Yvaine starts] Captain Shakespeare: Have no fear, no-one on this vessel will harm you, but there are plenty who would... Your emotions give you away, Yvaine. You must learn to control th...
Louis Winthorpe III: [after ruining the Dukes] Happy New Year! Randolph Duke: [hoarsely] Winthorpe. Mortimer Duke: [stunned] Valentine. Billy Ray Valentine: Hey! How'd y'all make out today? Mortimer Duke: How could you do this to us after everything ...
Sarah Connor: [recording a tape for her future son] The hardest thing is deciding what I should tell you and what not to. But I guess I've got a while yet before you're old enough to even understand the tapes. They're more for me at this point just s...
Woody: Listen, lightsnack, you stay away from Andy. He's mine, and no one is taking him away from me. Buzz: What are you talking about? Where's that bonding strip? [slides under his ship with a skateboard] Woody: [pulls him back out] And another thin...
