And they know I didn't hold expectations for them like I do for myself. But I also tell them I'm not going to lower the expectations I do have for them because we're playing Division II.
Wife: I'm not eating something that was cooked by some cracker-ass hatemonger! Husband: I will. Baby, you can't taste racism! Randal Graves: What racism, "porch monkeys?"
Counter Girl with Ear Guy: You fuckin' freak. [pulls boyfriend by loop in ear] Randal Graves: I'm not even gonna point out the irony, here.
Emma: Come outside with me, I've got a surprise for you! [Emma and Dante run outside and pass Jay, posing completely naked] Dante Hicks: That's my surprise? Emma: No.
[Jay hands Emma a cake] Jay: Quick, hit that two-timing fuck with this! [she hits Dante with the cake] Jay: Hey, you wanna go out some time?
Jay: [Emma parks her SUV and gets out. Jay and Silent Bob stand in front of the graffiti on the side of the Mooby's - "Eat pussy."] Oh, we *totally* do.
Elias: How many times? Hobbit Lover: Well, um, three for "Fellowship," two for "Towers," four for "Return." Elias: Five for "Return"! Hobbit Lover: Dude!
Sexy Stud: [as he drops into his seat in the jail cell, sighing sadly as he leans back against the bars] I miss my donkey.
Randal Graves: What's the point in having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look up weird, fucked-up pictures of dirty sex you'll never have yourself?
Dante Hicks: [after Emma flashes Randal] What'd you do that for? You realize he just thinks you're trying to get him into a threeway with us now, don't you?
Randal Graves: You're gonna be rolling in the pussy, man! Elias: Don't be gross! Randal Graves: Says the guy who was just playing tonsil hockey with his mother.
Randal Graves: The best part of this job is all the barely legal pussy that comes in here. And they all look up to me 'cause I've got a driver's license. It's awesome.
Elias: Well, I mean, as you know, my online handle is Optimus Prime. Randal Graves: I know that. I wish I didn't.
[Ash is trapped in the cellar with Henrietta walking towards him] Ash: Open the door. There's something down here! Annie: Open it. Quickly! Jake: It's a trick!
Ash: There's something out there. That... that witch in the cellar is only part of it. It lives... out in those woods, in the dark... something... something that's come back from the dead.
Michael Corleone: There are many things my father taught me here in this room. He taught me: keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Hyman Roth: I'm going in to take a nap. When I wake, if the money's on the table, I'll know I have a partner. If it isn't, I'll know I don't.
Michael: Was it a boy? Tom Hagen: Mikey, after three and a half months... Michael: WHY CAN'T YOU GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER ANY MORE? WAS IT A BOY?
[Kay is threatening to take the children away] Michael: Don't you know that I would use all of my power to prevent something like that from happening?
Hyman Roth: What I am saying is, we have now what we have always needed, real partnership with the government.
All through the years since World War II, the Japanese people have, I am convinced, made strenuous efforts to preserve and promote world peace, contributing to the progress and prosperity of mankind.
