Richard Chesler: Get the fuck out of here, you're fired! Narrator: I have a better solution. You keep me on the payroll as an outside consultant and in exchange for my salary, my job will be never to tell people these things that I know. I don't even...
Barnes: I've got some camouflage jackets in the Jeep, sirs, I suggest you both put them on. Kaffee: Camouflage jackets? Barnes: Yes sir, we'll be riding pretty close to the fence line. The Cubans see an officer wearing white, they think it might be s...
[Yente has returned from the post office] Yente: The postman told me there was a letter for your sister, Hodel. Tzeitel: Thank you, I'll go and get it. Yente: I got it. It's, ah, from her intended, Perchik. Tzeitel: Oh, she'll be so happy, she's been...
Raoul Duke: Of course, I could hear what the clerk was really saying. Clerk at Flamingo Hotel: Listen, you fuzzy little shithead! I've been fucked around in my time by a fairly good cross-section of mean-tempered, rule-crazy cops, and now it's my tur...
Dr. James Farmer, Sr.: [after Tolson is unjustly captured and imprisoned] Since you have no evidence, I suggest you let him go. Sheriff Dozier: Are you threatening me, boy? Dr. James Farmer, Sr.: No, sir. I wouldn't do that. But I cannot speak for th...
Melvin Udall: [enters his psychiatrist's office] Hi. [shuts door] Melvin Udall: *Help!* Dr. Green: If you want to see me, you will not do this. You will make an appointment. Melvin Udall: Dr. Green, how can you diagnose someone as an obsessive compul...
Colonel Robert G. Shaw: Good morning gentlemen, I am Colonel Robert Gould Shaw. I am your commanding officer. It is a great pleasure to see you all here today. It is my hope that the same courage, spirit, and honor, which has brought us together, wil...
Officer Devereux: Hey, you know we've been looking for you two guys for a long time. You guys are always leaving the water running whenever you break in, now we know each and every house you guys have hit. Marv: Yeah. But remember, we're the wet band...
Stacey Bridges, Outlaw: Now, Morg. You just give us the combination to that safe in the mining office and we'll slip right in, get the money that's owed us and slip right back out again. Morgan Allen: [dying] I wouldn't give you the combination to th...
Paul Rusesabagina: All day long I work to please this officer, that diplomat, some tourist to store up favors so if there is a time when we need help I have powerful people I can call upon. Tatiana Rusesabagina: But Victor was a good neighbor. Paul R...
Kent Mansley: Two nights ago, at approximateley 1900 hours, S.A.T com radar detected an unidentified flying object entering Earth's atmosphere, losing contact with it two-and-a-half miles off the coast of Rockwell. Some assumed it was a large meteor,...
Ernie Bishop: Just a minute! Quiet everybody! Quiet, quiet. Now get this, it's from London. Ma Bailey: Oh! Ernie Bishop: [Reading the telegram in his hand] Mr. Gower cabled you need cash, stop. My office instructed to advance you up to twenty-five th...
[Stu barges into Frank's office and Frank almost shoots him] Huge Goon: Whoa! It's only me boss. Everything's under control. [slowly creeps over to the bazooka while Frank & Chris stare at him] Chris D'Amico: Under control? You're grabbing a fucking ...
City Councilman: [told by Bud to leave Lynn's house] Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. Bud White: [flashes his badge] LAPD, shitbird. Get the fuck outta here or I'll call your wife to come get you! [while Lynn hides a smile, the client gathers up his clot...
Georg Dreyman: The state office for statistics on Hans-Beimler street counts everything; knows everything: how many pairs of shoes I buy a year: 2.3, how many books I read a year: 3.2 and how many students graduate with perfect marks: 6,347. But ther...
Kermit the Frog: If you please sir, why open the office tomorrow? Other businesses will be closed; there'll be no one to do business with. It'll waste a lot of expensive coal for the fire! Rats: Yeah! Ebenezer Scrooge: It's a poor excuse for picking ...
[viewing the crime scene of Leo Crow's murder] Danny Witwer: I worked homicide before federal. This is what we call an orgy of evidence. You know how many orgies I had as a homicide cop? Officer Fletcher: How many? Danny Witwer: None. [crouches down ...
Colonel Blake: [blows whistle] Alright, men! we're not here to sell lemonade, we're here to practice. But first, I'd like to officially welcome Spearchucker to our team. It is okay to call you that? Spearchucker: Call me whatever you want to. Colonel...
Peter Gibbons: Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday and you're not feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you, "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays?" Lawrence: No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kic...
Nina: Now Milton, don't be greedy, let's pass it along and make sure everyone gets a piece. Milton Waddams: Yeah, but last time I didn't receive a piece. And I was told... Nina: Just pass. [while the cake passes Milton mutters - eventually everybody ...
Peter Gibbons: Hey, guys. Michael Bolton: What's up, G? Peter Gibbons: Want to go to Chotchkie's? Get some coffee? Samir: Oh, it's a little early. Peter Gibbons: I gotta get outta here. I think I'm gonna lose it. Female Temp: Uh-oh. Sounds like someb...
