A man approaching retirement called the retirement office to inquire about his pension. Afterward, he was asked if his wife worked. “She’s worked all her life making me happy”, he replied. “Yes sir, but has she earned money to receive her pen...
I can remember when I was a bit of an ETA fan myself. It was in 1973, when a group of Basque militants assassinated Adm. Carrero Blanco. The admiral was a stone-faced secret police chief, personally groomed to be the successor to the decrepit Francis...
We got a call from across the street that a black woman had broken into this house.” “And you were going to arrest her without even knocking on the door?” “We had to secure her first. Um. Are you okay, ma’am?” “Of course I am. Don’t y...
Oh, good grief," said Vimes. "Look, it's quite simple, man. I was expected to go "At last, alcohol!", and chugalug the lot without thinking. Then some respectable pillars of the community" - he removed the cigar from his mouth and spat - "were going ...
If you have walked into a museum recently - whether you did so to attend an art exhibition or to escape from the police - you may have noticed a type of painting known as a triptych. A triptych has three panels, with something different painted on ea...
That not all men are piggy, only some; that not all men belittle me, only some; that not all men get mad if you won’t let them play Chivalry, only some; that not all men write books in which women are idiots, only most; that not all men pull rank o...
the hinder portion scalding-house good eating Curve B in addition to the usual baths and ablutions military police sumptuousness of the washhouse risking misstatements kept distances iris to iris queen of holes damp, hairy legs note of anger chanting...
Thanks to my mother, I was raised to have a morbid imagination. When I was a child, she often talked about death as warning, as an unavoidable matter of fact. Little Debbie's mom down the block might say, 'Honey, look both ways before crossing the st...
She was in a coma, and had been unresponsive for years. Every Tuesday I’d visit her and read to her, and as I’d leave I’d always say, “I love you,” as I’d kiss her on her forehead. One day as I was leaving, I said my normal I love you and...
If reconciling your feminist values with your sexual preferences is something you’re struggling with, don’t panic. But try to believe what I’m about to tell you, because it’s true: It’s healthy to want and seek pleasure. It’s generous and...
[upon learning the Police have found Delahunt's body and that he was a cop] Fitzy: I don't believe it. Mr. French: What can't you believe? Fitzy: I spent all fucking night dragging the poor bastard in there. Tell me how they find him so fast? Somebod...
Sewer Thug #1: [Sewer thugs have captured Jim Gordon, who is barely conscious] It's the police commissioner. Bane: And you brought him down here? Sewer Thug #1: We didn't know what to do. Bane: You panicked, and your weakness has cost the lives of th...
Simon: Simon says, McClane and the Samaritan will go to the subway station at 72nd and Broadway. I will call you in 15 minutes on the payphone outside the station. No Police. Failure to answer will constitute noncompliance. Do you understand me, John...
Mischa: [the second guard tries to reach the front desk but instead reaches Simon's henchman who has replaced the real guard] Front desk. Federal Reserve Guard #2: Yes, call the police, get your ass down here right now! I'm under attack! Mischa: Hey,...
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: Dr. Richard Kimble! There's no way out of here, Richard! The entire building is locked down! Give it up Richard, you don't have any time, Chicago police department thinks you're a cop killer, they WILL shoot you on sight...
Julien Jeanvier: [as Julien is fleeing from the police] Sophie was back in the game! Pure, raw, explosive pleasure! Better than drugs, better than smack! Better than a dope-coke-crack-fix-shit-shoot-sniff-ganja-marijuana-blotter-acid-ecstasy! Better ...
Barbara: These are those four outlines submitted by Universal for an hour series. You needn't bother to read them; I'll tell them to you. The first one is set at a large Eastern law school, presumably Harvard. The series is irresistibly entitled "The...
[last lines] Norma Bates: [voiceover in police custody, as Norman is thinking] It's sad, when a mother has to speak the words that condemn her own son. But I couldn't allow them to believe that I would commit murder. They'll put him away now, as I sh...
Barbara: [over the phone] Some men tried to get into the house. Shaun: Well are they still there? Barbara: [over the phone] I'm not sure, we've shut the curtains. Shaun: Did you try the police? Barbara: [over the phone] Well I thought about it. Shaun...
Alonzo Harris: Aww, you motherfuckers. Okay. Alright. I'm putting cases on all you bitches. Huh. You think you can do this shit... Jake. You think you can do this to me? You motherfuckers will be playing basketball in Pelican Bay when I get finished ...
[At the big conclave/street gang meeting, Cyrus, the boss of the street gang appears] Cyrus: [yelling] Can you count, suckers? I say, the future is ours... if you can count! [a couple of soldiers cheer for Cyrus] Cyrus: Now, look what we have here be...
