"Coast Guard Sees Increasing Need for Icebreakers"—headline, Associated Press, March 1
James Taranto[first lines] Guard: [subtitled version] Stand still. Eyes to the floor. [pause] Guard: Walk on.
The Lives of OthersIraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
David LettermanShe couldn't do any worse, but then, he couldn't do better. So maybe it balanced out.
Guards! Guards!Prison Guard: D-Block, Morris! Frank Morris: But he came at me! Prison Guard: I said, D-Block!
Escape from AlcatrazPrison Guard: Your painting privileges have been removed. Doc: Why? Prison Guard: I don't know.
Escape from Alcatraz