Jeff: I don't like it when people come up to me after my plays and say, "I really dug your message, man." Or, "I really dug your play, man, I cried." You know. I like it when people come up to me the next day, or a week later, and they say, "I saw yo...
Mitzi: [about Trumpet] , You know, I never heard him play. Bernadette: Play? He didn't *play*, dear. Trumpet didn't have a single musical bone in his body. No, Trumpet had an unusually large foreskin. So large, in fact, that he could wrap the entire ...
The cat has nine lives: three for playing, three for straying, three for staying.
I like watching baseball as much as my grandma’s left ear is loud. (She’d probably give her right ear for a left ear that wasn’t soundproof).
Molly stood up. You made an error! She felt like saying. A bad throw. So what? It's a baseball game. A game. Who really cares? A bad throw? In the great scheme of things? A bad throw? Of course she didn't say that. She understood that your own errors...
Trying to analyze a situation without enough data was like looking at a photograph of a ball in flight and trying to gauge its direction. Is it going up, down, sideways? Is it about to collide with a baseball bat? Is it moving at all, or is something...
I had a dream about you. I was a giraffe, and you were a stripper using my neck as a pole. We made a great team, sort of like the 1987 Cincinnati Reds, minus the Pete Rose cheating scandal. Well, baseball called it cheating, but I call it enterprisin...
As long as Nelson was socked into baseball statistics or that guitar or even the rock records that threaded their sound through all the fibers of the house, his occupation of the room down the hall was no more uncomfortable than the persistence of Ra...
Years later he would say that when he'd decided to become a professional baseball player, it was the only time he'd done something just for the money, and that he'd never do something just for the money ever again. He would never again let the market...
Noriega wound up like a baseball pitcher on top of the bed and hurled the small gun, but was low and outside for a ball. His tight-fitting house dress was bunched up high on his chubby thighs, exposing olive drab underwear. I see London, I see France...
Nine equals eight … just ask any math teacher. Well, make that a Tampa-St. Pete area math teacher, one who also likes baseball, and is a diehard Rays fan, and who knows that Joe Maddon deserves more than just the 2008 Manager of the Year Award.
I reached down and picked up a baseball bat at my feet and I flung it as hard as it could. It circled and arced high in the air until it slammed against the side of the dining hall with a crack and fell. I sat down in the dirt. Then I lay down in the...
Maybe that's why the good Lord gave us these vivid memory capabilities. When stress hits, we can just close our eyes, lean back and relax, and enjoy a game of Tidly-Winks, the sound of a Pete Rose baseball card in the spokes of our bike, or maybe a n...
Do what you love to do and give it your very best. Whether it's business or baseball, or the theater, or any field. If you don't love what you're doing and you can't give it your best, get out of it. Life is too short. You'll be an old man before you...
Business is a game like baseball or golf or anything else. I enjoy being a student of the game, and reading, and learning, and going to conferences, whether it’s building custom homes or selling or servicing medical equipment. A good entrepreneur c...
People need people and the happiest people are surrounded with friendly flesh. If you have ten kids they'll be so sweet -- ten really sweet kids! Have twelve! What if there were 48 pro baseball teams, you could see a damn lot more games! And in this ...
Seeing yourself in print is such an amazing concept: you can get so much attention without having to actually show up somewhere. While others who have something to say or who want to be effectual, like musicians or baseball players or politicians, ha...
Jane: I've heard police work is dangerous. Frank: It is. That's why I carry a big gun. Jane: Aren't you afraid it might go off accidentally? Frank: I used to have that problem. Jane: What did you do about it? Frank: I just think about baseball.
Nancy: I grab the guy in my dream. You see me struggling so you wake me up. We both come out, you whack the fucker and we got him. Glen Lantz: Are you crazy, hit him with what? Nancy: You're the jock. You have a baseball bat or something.
Benny Rodriguez: Man, you think too much! I bet you get straight A's and shit! Scotty Smalls: No, I got a B once. Well, actually it was an A minus but it should have been a B. Benny Rodriguez: Man, this is baseball, you gotta stop thinking! Just have...
Lorenzo: [about C] The other night he tried to throw away his baseball cards because he said Mickey Mantle would never pay our rent. Sonny: [laughs] He said that to you? I can't believe that kid. [They all start laughing] Lorenzo: That's not funny. N...
