Quotes of: Picture-book Keyword

I always buckle up, even if I’m only walking across the parking lot.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Of all things possible, the impossible is the only one worth skipping sex for.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

We made love for 8 seconds. She rode me like a bull.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I thought she was sexy until I noticed she had a beard.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m a student of life. My own. So I’m also my own teacher.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I want to steal 100 years. If I get caught, it’ll be the trial of the century.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I hear phonetically on the phone. Toiletries sounds like toilet trees to me.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m an understanding guy, even when I’m standing over you.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Make pizza, not war. No matter how you slice it, that’s wise.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

A pen is like a switchblade you can actually write with—and pull off a successful mugging with.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m now solidly in my mid-thirties. I turned thirty, three days ago.

This Book Has No Title

I’m putty in her hands. Out of her hands, I’m more like clay. 

This Book Has No Title

College has given me the confidence I need to fail. 

This Book Has No Title

I can read lips. Especially if they have words tattooed on them.

This Book Has No Title

It’s easier to pick apart what is, than put together what isn’t.

This Book Has No Title

The police made sure he wasn’t dead. Then they killed him.

This Book Has No Title

I’d eat a mosquito to satisfy my hunger for an itch.

This Book Has No Title

Divorce is the second worst event in a person’s life. The worst event, of course, is marriage.

This Book Has No Title

I’d like a doggy bag to take home my leftover grilled canine burger.

This Book Has No Title

I like remembering her as she was—a fantasy of the future.

This Book Has No Title

My goal is to do the most with the least—get the maximum output with the minimum input.

This Book Has No Title