Quotes of: Pets Keyword

I could probably give you a list of a dozen pet peeves I have about my own physicality and why I couldn't get a second date.

Zachary Levi

'Stress' was the catch-all every pamper-pedlar I spoke to used to explain why healthy women feel the need to be regularly patted, petted and preened into a state of babyish beatification.

Julie Burchill

We get a lot of calls where the person is murdered at home, but is not found for a period of time. And so the animals have already started to take the body apart because they haven't been fed in that period. So your evidence is being chewed up by the...

Every Contact Leaves a Trace

Andrew Largeman: What could be ruder than talking about someone else who died when you're in the act of burying a close friend? Sam: Well, what should we do? Andrew Largeman: I don't know. I've only been to one of these things. You appear to be the e...

Garden State

Know what being a man's pet means. And if you're ever lucky enough to find yourself with the choice, choose the pasture.

Comfort of Fences

They say that a few minutes each day of petting your dog can raise your serotonin levels.

In Dog We Trust

New Maxi-Pad Pets. Accessories for your period. Brought to you by The Corporation: In your homes and in your pants.

Beauty Queens

When Johnny Depp saw it, he was so excited he fluffed up to twice his normal size.

How to Keep a Boy as a Pet

According to a poll conducted by ilovecatsandjarodkintz.com, Jacksonville's favorite pet is the cat at 100 votes to 0 for dogs, birds, fish, or peeves.

I am Jacksonville

Amanda took the torn page from Maniac. To her, it was the broken wing of a bird, a pet out in the rain.

Maniac Magee

What I knew for sure was that he had a quick temper, a cocky attitude, and a southern accent... Apparently he also has a pet cougar.

Shepherd's Moon

Here’s what I’d love to see: A vending machine that dispenses cats for petting on your lunch break. Instead of money, the machine accepts hugs. 

Sleepwalking is restercise

I’m not sitting around doing nothing. I’m busy petting the cat. Why hasn’t anybody told the philosophers that this is the meaning of life? 

Sleepwalking is restercise

I had to kill and eat my pet chicken. It was dinner for one, because the night before I killed and ate my grandpa.

Sleepwalking is restercise

There should always be one more cat than person, so everyone has one to pet, and I have two to myself.

This Book Title is Invisible

I wish there were a vending machine that served cats. Not to eat, but to pet during my work break.

This Book Title is Invisible

That lesson suggests that in the end, we can only find peace in our human lives by accepting the will of the universe.

Pet Sematary

Sometimes God dillies and dallies, and sometimes he just points at you and tells you to hang up your jock.

Pet Sematary

A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?

Pudd'nhead Wilson

Quick! Hide under my 3:33 am, but don’t pet my 3:33 pm.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

We are the wire, and tomorrow is like yesterday with a furry back. Don’t pet me, Tuesday! Please don’t Wednesday with my emotions.

This Book is Not FOR SALE