Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, "How to Build a Boat.
People get all up in arms when I describe myself as a crip because what they hear is the word 'cripple,' and they hear a word you're not allowed to say anymore.
If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.
I used to hold back because people would get offended, but now I'm like, 'You're going to hear me, regardless. Whether you accept what I have to say or not is on you.'
I have a problem with people saying feminine means anti-feminist, and I think it's counter-productive to immediately associate anything 'girly' with vanity or stupidity.
I'm the most cynical person, and I know what that sounds like when you say, I don't drink and drive, and I don't. But I know people look at that with skepticism, and I understand.
We see the people that have got stars in their eyes, but if you've really got what it takes, you can get from, say the beginnings, to the top in about five years.
Once people said: Give me liberty or give me death. Now they say: Make me a slave, just pay me enough.
Ah, dear Jude; that's because you are like a totally deaf man observing people listening to music. You say 'What are they regarding? Nothing is there.' But something is.
To me, the job of a playwright is to explore and bring to light our lives. You can't hold back; you have to give in to this. Sometimes, you say things people don't want to hear.
It's insane, the Internet. Totally craziness. Like a little cancer. People can just do whatever they want, say whatever they want, be totally anonymous. It's totally out of control.
People write me letters and say I should answer them. But I don't like to answer letters. I don't write letters. I've never written my mother one.
It never bothered me when people would say, 'You only win championships because you're playing with Shaq.' It bothered me when he said it.
Look at someone like Ke$ha. I wouldn't say she's got the most rangy, incredible voice, but she's got a thing. She stands for something, and people are buying into that.
When you have a stroke, you must talk slowly to be understood, and I've discovered that when I talk slowly, people listen. They think I'm going to say something important!
People always have something to say about how long is too long or not long enough to breastfeed. I think this is such a personal decision that it can only be made between each baby and his or her mommy.
For Members of Congress, we are saying here on the Democratic side of the aisle we are not going to vote for another pay increase for Members of Congress until the American people get an increase.
You can almost hear people saying, 'We're going to make a movie about an election' and 'We're going to make a movie about a lobbyist.' You can hear the yawning start across the nation.
A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.
I was bullied in first grade, and it's definitely not fun. But always tell somebody instead of holding it in. Communicate with people and just say, 'Hey, I'm being bullied. I need help.'
