[George has discovered his brother Harry's tombstone] Clarence: [explaining] Your brother, Harry Bailey, broke through the ice and was drowned at the age of nine. George Bailey: That's a lie! Harry Bailey went to war! He got the Congressional Medal o...
Clarence: There is no George Bailey. [George searches his pockets for identification, finds none] Clarence: You have no papers, no cards, no driver's license, no 4F card, no insurance policy. [George finally searches his watch pocket for the rose pet...
George Bailey: [the staff celebrates closing the building and loan company with only two dollars remaining, to stay in business] Get a tray for these two great big important simoleans here. Uncle Billy: We'll save 'em for seed. George Bailey: A toast...
George Bailey: Now, will you do something for me? Zuzu Bailey: What? George Bailey: Will you try and get some sleep? Zuzu Bailey: I'm not sleepy. I want to look at my flower. George Bailey: I know-I know, but you just go to sleep, and then you can dr...
George Bailey: I'm shakin' the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I'm gonna see the world. Italy, Greece, the Parthenon, the Colosseum. Then, I'm comin' back here to go to college and see what they know. And then I'm gonna build things. ...
Nick: [slamming a bottle on the bar] That's it! Out you two pixies go... through the door, or out the window! George Bailey: Hold on, Nick! What's wrong? Nick: That's another thing. Where do you come off calling me Nick? George Bailey: Well... Nick, ...
Mickey: [Mickey walks up to a disheartened Freddie Othello, dumped by Mary Hatch] What's the matter, Othello - jealous? Did you know there's a swimming pool under this floor? And did you know that *button* behind you causes this floor to open up? And...
Pa Bailey: Of course it's just a hope, you wouldn't consider coming back to the Building & Loan would you? George Bailey: Well I... [notices Annie eavesdropping] George Bailey: Annie, why don't you draw up a chair and then you'll be more comfortable ...
Elle Driver: [to Budd, as he is dying] Now in these last agonizing minutes of life you have left, let me answer the question you asked earlier more thoroughly. Right at this moment, the biggest "R" I feel is Regret. Regret that maybe the greatest war...
The Bride: What are you doing here? Bill: What am I doing? A moment ago, I was playin' my flute. But this moment, I'm looking at the most beautiful bride these old eyes have ever seen. The Bride: Why are you here? Bill: Last look. The Bride: Are you ...
Maurice: You have my sympathies, then. You have not yet learned that in this life you have to be like everyone else - the perfect mediocrity; no better, no worse. Individuality's a monster and it must be strangled in it's cradle to make our friends f...
Keith: I had it all figured out, so I cut out early? Who cares? It's probably a good thing. Life sucks, anyway. Then I met you, and it got weird. And you were so amazing. And I... Natalie: What? What? Keith: I just wanted a little more time. So all i...
Giosué Orefice: Buttons and soap. Guido: What? Giosué Orefice: They turn us into buttons and soap. Guido: Who told you that? Giosué Orefice: An old man was crying. He said they turn us into buttons and soap. They burn us all up in ovens. Guido: Ho...
Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us? Attendee: Brought peace? Reg: Oh, peace - shut up! Reg: There ...
Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly! Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity. Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah! Followers: ...
[first lines] Wise Man #1: Ahem! Brian's mother: Oh! [falls over in chair] Brian's mother: Who are you? Wise Man #2: We are three wise men. Brian's mother: What? Wise Man #1: We are three wise men. Brian's mother: Well, what are you doing creeping ar...
Boring Prophet: There shall in that time be rumors of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia-work base, that ha...
Centurion: You know the penalty laid down by Roman law for harboring a known criminal? Matthias: No. Centurion: Crucifixion! Matthias: Oh. Centurion: Nasty, eh? Matthias: Could be worse. Centurion: What you mean "Could be worse"? Matthias: Well, you ...
Brian: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again? Ex-Leper: Uh, I could do that sir, yeah. Yeah, I could do that I suppose. What I was thinking was I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the mid...
[Taking the gifts from the Three Wise Men and pushing them out the door] Brian's mother: Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too much about the myrrh next time...
[On the run from Roman soldiers, Brain lands on a public stage prophets. Brian quickly decides to disgues himself as one] Brian: [Unsure and stuttering] Don't... pass judgement... on other people, or you might be judged yourself. Passer-by: [as if sh...
