BDSM is like visiting a kinky Amusement Park. Once you pay the entry fee, you hop on an erotic roller coaster of deviant self-discovery. Although I have the threat of pain before me, I’m not even close to wanting to get off of this ride. It’s suc...
'Life, Love & Hope' is... I'm thinking 'larger picture.' I'm not trying to preach to anyone. We all get lost and caught up in our everyday problems. Your cellphone doesn't work or you got a parking ticket, you had a bad day at work. You can lose sigh...
You know, I just tend to grow my beard out for 'Parks and Rec.' As an actor it's always easier to shave or cut your hair for a role, but it's hard to put fake hair on or grow hair for a role. When you look at pictures of me, the longer my hair is, th...
Not far from my apartment, within a stretch of no more than 500 feet, there are two doggie gyms where Gotham's canines who aren't getting enough exercise running through the city's parks, or are neglecting their all-important doggie glutes and abs, c...
Madrid is enjoyed most from the ground, exploring your way through its narrow streets that always lead to some intriguing park, market, tapas bar or street performer. Each night we'd leave our hotel to begin a new adventure in Madrid and nine out of ...
In Tanzania, the chimps are isolated in a very tiny patch of forest. I flew over it 13 years ago and realized that, basically, all the trees had gone, that people all around the park are struggling to survive. It became very clear that there was no w...
Here's the thing: I am not only a creature of civilization, I'm an asthmatic person. I will only live so long as I have stockpiled the proper inhalers. I'm effectively a cyborg. You know how in Jurassic Park, they bred those dinosaurs with the lysine...
[Louis has forgotten where he parked] Melanie: Jesus, but if you two are not the biggest pair of fuck-ups I've ever met in my entire life. How did you ever rob a bank? When you robbed banks, did you forget where your car was then too? No wonder you w...
[Dodgson is meeting Nedry at a restaurant in Costa Rica] Dennis Nedry: [waving] Dodgson! Lew Dodgson: [sitting down] You shouldn't use my name. Dennis Nedry: [loudly] Dodgson, Dodgson, we've got Dodgson here! Nobody cares. Nice hat. What are you tryi...
John Hammond: [Ellie is going out to the maintenance shed to switch the circuit breakers, the dinosaurs are on the loose] It ought to be me really going. Dr. Ellie Sattler: Why? John Hammond: Well, I'm a... And you're, um, a... Dr. Ellie Sattler: Loo...
Donald Gennaro: Let's get something straight, John, this is not a weekend excursion, this is a serious investigation of the stability of the island. Your investors, whom I represent, are deeply concerned. And 48 hours from now, if they're not convinc...
Man on Phone in lobby: ...hamburger stand, she's a waitress about 16 years old. They chopped her goddamn head off right there in the parking lot. Then they cut all kinds of holes in her and sucked out the blood. They were after the peneal gland I thi...
Alan Garner: [while picking up Phil at the school where he works] Did you have to park so close? Doug Billings: Yeah, what's wrong? Alan Garner: I shouldn't be here. Doug Billings: Why is that, Alan? Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hun...
Madeliene White: Well, I'd love to tell you what a monster you are, but, uh, I have to help Bin Laden's nephew buy a co-op on Park Ave. Arthur Case: [laughing] If that were true, you wouldn't tell me. Madeliene White: [turning to leave] We're listing...
Lex: [Brachiosaurs hearing Grant imitate they're singing look up in his direction] Sh. Sh. Don't let the monsters come over here. Dr. Alan Grant: They're not monsters, Lex. They're just animals. And these are herbivores. Tim: That means they only eat...
Perry: [to the audience] Thanks for coming, please stay for the end credits, if you're wondering who the best boy is, it's somebody's nephew, um, don't forget to validate your parking, and to all you good people in the Midwest, sorry we said fuck so ...
Eddie Morra: [Speaking to her in the park behind on rock] Okay, I need you to go into the bag and take one of the pills. Lindy: Why? Eddie Morra: Because you'll know what to do. You'll take it and then you'll know. Lindy: [Panicked] He's got a knife,...
Leonard Shelby: [while walking through a parking lot, Teddy stops at his dilapidated Chevrolet] My car. Teddy: [laughs] This is your car. Leonard Shelby: [holds up a picture of the Jaguar with the caption My Car] Oh, you're in a playful mood. It's no...
Wichita: [playing Monopoly] Ooh! Free parking... Little Rock: Yeah. Wichita: -which coincidentally is the best thing about Zombieland. Columbus: You want to know the best thing about Z-land? No- no Facebook status updates. You know, Rob Curtis is gea...
It's easy to say why I love coming to Chicago for my signings, because I still remember the very first time I came to Chicago, right before 'Shiver' came out. I remember I was so struck by the feel of the city, how wide open it felt, even with these ...
[Susan is stealing David's car from the golf course] Susan Vance: Now, don't lose your temper. David Huxley: My dear young lady, I'm not losing my temper. I'm merely trying to play some golf! Susan Vance: Well you choose the funniest places; this is ...
