My body slid from human to wolf in a crack! of black smoke. Wolf was panting and I watched frost dissipate on my hot tongue, sending tiny rivulets of steam into the air. The world was sharp and clear, and I never realized how many different colors of...
You have to come downstairs now!" panted Alice. "What's wrong?" "Everything! Izzy's floating, Melanie ran into the wall, my hand made a silver ball and Colleen smashed my keys though the wall!" Alice huffed. "Wait, what? Slow down, I didn't catch a w...
A black dog, tall and wide as a full grown man, took a couple of steps toward them. It bared sharp, yellow fangs big as Bowie knifes. Drool dripped from them to the dried grass below. Unable to help it, Lee wet his pants when he saw the animal’s ey...
People, heed my warning: That stuff is Specials Olympics in a pint glass. You think they are harmless and not very strong, and the next thing you know it is an hour later and you are in the bathroom of the bar with your pants off, surrounded by five ...
A writer’s brain is full of little gifts, like a piñata at a birthday party. It’s also full of demons, like a piñata at a birthday party in a mental hospital. The truth is, it’s demons that keep a tortured writer’s spirit alive, not Tootsie...
People who could easily be mistaken as preteens just shouldn’t even try to pull off the look-at-me-I’m-so-serious-and-mysterious-and-sexy look. Especially while driving because, please, you look like you are twelve and a half and driving with a s...
When I was growing up, I was teased for being too skinny. I went to summer camp when I was 11. I wore shorts, and the nurse said to me, in front of all my friends, that I was anorexic and that she had to monitor me to make sure I was eating. Because ...
[Mouth is "translating" Mrs. Walsh's instructions for Rosalita] Irene Walsh: Pants and shirts go in the... oh, forget about it. Just throw everything into cardboard boxes. Clark, can you really translate all that? Mouth: For sure, Mrs. Walsh. Mouth: ...
Julien à 8 ans: [narrating] No, actually, I'm wrong. It began a little earlier with a disgusting, meaningless word, like... Doctor #2: [flash of an x-ray] Metastasis! Julien à 8 ans: Sure! Why not "mammoth" while you're at it? And it made Mom cry. ...
Rizzo the Rat: How do you know what Scrooge is doin'? We're down here and he's up there! Gonzo: I told you, storytellers are omniscient; I know everything! Rizzo the Rat: Hoity-toity, Mr. Godlike Smarty-Pants. Gonzo: To conduct a proper search, Scroo...
Ben: [after killing a black man] Here's our golden opportunity to see if that legend about their size is true. Rémy, pull his pants down. We'll know in a jiffy. Good Lord! He's really well hung. You can wrap it up now. It's disgusting. The kid's bar...
Tony Clifton: Can I use the bathroom? I may have shit my pants. Security Guard: Not on the lot. Tony Clifton: Drink of water? Security Guard: [shakes head] Tony Clifton: Aspirin? Security Guard: [shakes head] Tony Clifton: Moist Towelette? Security G...
General Mireau: I can't understand these armchair officers, fellas trying to fight a war from behind a desk, waving papers at the enemy, worrying about whether a mouse is gonna run up their pants leg. Colonel Dax: I don't know, General. If I had the ...
[Andy has asked Red to procure Rita Hayworth] Andy Dufresne: Can you get her? Red: Take a few weeks. Andy Dufresne: Weeks? Red: Well yeah, Andy. I don't have her stuffed down the front of my pants right now, I'm sorry to say, but I'll get her. Relax!
[Prince Achmed comes storming in from the palace gardens after being rejected by Princess Jasmine] Prince Achmed: I've never been so insulted! Sultan: Oh, Prince Achmed, you're, you're not... leaving so soon, are you? Prince Achmed: [walks away, pant...
Helen Sinclair: Oh, Julian. Julian Marx. I do plays put on by Balasco, or Sam Harris, not some Yiddish pant salesman turned producer. My ex-husband used to say, "If you're gonna go down, go down with the best of them." Sid Loomis: Which ex-husband? H...
Led Zeppelin! I clapped my hand over my mouth. This big, strong man, wearing a muscle shirt and cargo pants, sang rock songs to a toddler in the middle of the night. I was so toast. Game over. And it was doubly terrifying, considering I had no idea h...
Sound is so important to creative writing. Think of the sounds you hear that you include and the similes you use to describe what things sound . 'As she walked up the alley, her polyester workout pants sounded like windshield wipers swishing back and...
Dorina?" Louis Cesare's voice was loud in my ear. The one I had squeezed against the phone, which was squeezed against my sore shoulder, becuase I was using both hands to keep Ray's point in his pants. "The fey, damm it!" I told him. "They're for the...
What are you doing?” he gasped. He looked slightly ridiculous. It was not as if he was a defenseless damsel in distress. He could have stopped me, if he wanted to. But he didn’t want to. Besides, I’ve always considered this to be the most idiot...
Tonight when she came down to the front desk she was wearing neon green hot pants and a pink leopard print jacket. But the best part was that her boots almost matched her jacket. I think she’s on to something. Why let the fact that you’re 65-year...
