Louis: [Louis, as the possessed Keymaster Vinz Clortho, runs out of Central Park, scaring a married couple] I am the Keymaster! The Destructor is coming. Gozer the Traveler, the Destroyer. [Louis pants and sniffs, then notices a horse carriage; horse...
Sam: You don't realize, this is good, this doesn't happen often in your life. We can work this stuff out. I want to help you, you know? We need each other... Andrew Largeman: This isn't a conversation about this being over, it's, it's... I'm not, lik...
Kazuko Yoshiyama: I first fell in love in high school. We became really close as soon as we met. It was like we'd known each other since childhood. But it was over before we became adults. Makoto Konno: Why? Kazuko Yoshiyama: The timing was probably ...
Professor Severus Snape: There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion-making. However, for those select few... [stares at D...
[first lines] Heather: So even if Columbus got lost and wasn't the first to discover America, he's still my hero. He was really brave to sail in such a tiny ship over a really big ocean. And because of him, we get Columbus Day off of school. Teacher:...
[Cooper is sitting at a parent/teacher meeting with the principal and one of Murph's teachers who wants to punish Murph for believing in the Apollo mission to the moon] Ms. Kelly: Murph got into a fistfight with several of her classmates over this Ap...
General Murray: [on the Arab Revolt] It's a storm in a tea cup, Mr. Dryden - a sideshow. If you want my own opinion, this whole theater of operations is a sideshow! The real war's not being fought against the Turks, but the Germans. And not here, but...
Olive: [going over eye test pamphlets] Mom, Dwayne's got 20/20 vision! Sheryl: I bet he does... Olive: Now, let's see if you're colorblind. [opens the pamphlet] Olive: What's the letter in the circle? [Dwayne looks confused] Olive: No in the circle. ...
Roger Murtaugh: 50 years old, what a birthday, goddamn 50 years old, been on the force 20 years, not a scratch on me, not a scar, got a wife, kids, a house, a fishing boat, but I can kiss all that goodbye because my new partner has a death wish, my f...
Harvey Milk: [Voice Over, Last lines] I ask this... If there should be an assassination, I would hope that five, ten, one hundred, a thousand would rise. I would like to see every gay lawyer, every gay architect come out - - If a bullet should enter ...
[first lines] Bert: All right, ladies an' gents! Comical poem! Suitable for the occasion, extemporized and thought up before your very eyes! All right, 'ere we go! [sings] Bert: Room 'ere for everyone. Gather around. [speaks] Bert: The constable - re...
Kate Grant: [looking at graves] There's Woody's little sister, Rose. She was only nineteen when she was killed in a car wreck near Wausa. What a whore! David Grant: Mom! Kate Grant: Nah, I liked Rose, but my God, she was a slut. David Grant: C'mon......
Young Noah: My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll ...
[Clark has just been pulled over by a Colorado motorcycle cop] Clark: Hi officer, what's the problem? Motorcycle Cop: Get out of the car! [Clark exits from the car] Clark: I don't think I was speeding. Was I weaving or something? Motorcycle Cop: Shut...
Jeannine: [In a McDonalds restaurant booth Conrad sits with Jeannine, the suicide attempt scars on Conrad's wrist are displayed] Did it hurt? Conrad "Con" Jarrett: I don't remember, really. Jeannine: You don't want to talk about it? Conrad "Con" Jarr...
Peter Gibbons: It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel o...
Sol Robeson: Have you met Archimedes? The one with the black spots, you see? You remember Archimedes of Syracuse, eh? The king asks Archimedes to determine if a present he's received is actually solid gold. Unsolved problem at the time. It tortures t...
[Jack sees Mr. Cotton's parot] Jack Sparrow: Well! I'm actually feeling rather good about this. I think we all arrived at a very special place eh? [Governor acts disgusted] Jack Sparrow: Spiritually. Ecumenically. Grammatically. [Walks over to Common...
Glen: How many Polacks it take to screw up a lightbulb? H.I.: I don't know, Glen. One? Glen: Nope, it takes three. [Glen laughs. H.I. doesn't] Glen: Wait a minute, I told it wrong. Here, I'm startin' over: How come it takes three Polacks to screw up ...
Pancho Barnes: What are you two rookies gonna have? Gordon Cooper: Rookies? Now hold on, sis. You are looking at a whole new ballgame here now. In fact, in a couple of years, I bet you're even gonna immortalize us by putting our pictures up there on ...
Coach Yoast: This isn't about me, I'm worried about my boys. Coach Boone: Well I'm not going to cut 'em and eat 'em. The best player will play, color won't matter. Coach Yoast: From the looks of our little situation we got us here, I think that's abo...
