One day in '61, I was looking in the Santa Monica phone book for a number, and there it was: Stan Laurel, Ocean Avenue in Santa Monica. I went over there and spent the afternoon with them. And pumped him with questions. I must have driven him crazy. ...
The truth is, we tend to train people how we want to be treated. If others know you have wishy-washy boundaries then they are free to walk all over you; the results…you become a doormat. We have actually trained others to do this when we will allow...
When Carpenter was shooting 'Vampires' in New Mexico when I was living there, I desperately tried to get a job working on that film, and I couldn't. So my first job as a PA was on a CBS movie of the week that was shooting next door, and whenever I co...
I have had quite a few obsessive fans. They write to me and then they turn up at signings and look really sheepish. If I said 'boo' to them, they would run away. I think they maybe believe I could take over their lives and sort them out. If they saw ...
I have decided now that my mother should be the GPS woman, don't you think? That would be fantastic: 'Make a left in 11 miles. Get over now - I want you to be prepared. Turn right on Elm Street, I want to see if Myrna Rosenblatt is still alive. Make ...
When I was a young guy, when I first started with G.E., Jack Welch sent us all to Japan because in those days Japan was gonna crush us. And we learned a lot about Japan when we were there. But over the subsequent 30 years, the Japanese companies all ...
I owe my dogs much - more than I can say - but they are not my 'companions' - as if we voluntarily chose to hang out together but none of us has authority over the others. I bought and/or acquired them. I own them. I am profoundly responsible for the...
Everybody goes to clinics, to hospitals, to doctors, and so on. Some people go to Planned Parenthood. But you don't have to go to Planned Parenthood to get your cholesterol or your blood pressure checked. If you want an abortion, you go to Planned Pa...
Elton John can be a master of the sleight of hand. The arrangements make it seem like there are substantial melodies underneath the tracks - but almost nothing demands repeated listenings. Similarly, he always sounds like he's singing up a storm, but...
Eyeball: So, what's with you and this Connie Palermo chick? Billy Tessio: I've been seeing her for over a month now and all she'll let me do is feel her tits. Ace: She's a Catholic, man. There'll all like that. If you wanna get laid, you gotta get yo...
[to Rotelli's charred and smoldering corpse] Joker: Your pals, uh, they're not bad people. Maybe we, uh, outta give them a couple of days to think it over. [shakes head] Joker: No? [looks surprised] Joker: Grease 'em now? Well, OK. You are a vicious ...
One day, the infielders were having a pretty bad time and were making some bad throws to me at first base. After digging a few out of the dirt, Joe Orengo called over to me, 'Atta boy, John, you look like a big cat.' Some of the writers overheard the...
There was a time in my 40s where I thought, oh, it's all over - not just work, but I'm never going to feel young again, I'm always going to feel like I know what's going to happen, I'll know what to expect. Looking back I don't know if that was a mid...
Wooderson: Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, all right. We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some fuckin' muscle.
Mister Senor Love Daddy: Today's temperature's gonna rise up over 100 degrees, so there's a Jheri curl alert! That's right, Jheri curl alert. If you have a Jheri curl, stay in the house or you'll end up with a permanent black helmet on your head fuh-...
Nick, Surplus Store Owner: [after one of the homosexuals tips over a sunglass rack on Nick's counter, then leaves] FUCKING FAGGOTS! YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT? Jesus! Alternate lifestyle, my ass! Imagine what those pumpkins do with each other when they're...
Nino: Slim. A change of plan. [he beckons Slim over] Slim, member of Indio's gang: What is it Nino? Nino: Indio wants you to... [he stabs Slim and releases the prisoners] Nino: Here are your guns without bullets. And listen don't let Indio find you b...
Jeannie: [over the house intercom, as Principal Rooney is standing at the kitchen sink] Excuse me: if whoever was in this house is still in the house, I'd like you to know that I've just called the police. I'd also like to add that I've got my father...
Chuckie: Look - you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat; now, t...
Edward R. Murrow: Let us dream to the extent of saying that on a given Sunday night the time normally occupied by Ed Sullivan is given over to a clinical survey of the state of American education, and a week or two later the time normally used by Ste...
Elgin Perkins: Alright Walsh. Today's the day so let's get this over with. Irene Walsh: Irving? Irving Walsh: I'm sorry Irene. Troy Perkins: Come on Walsh we don't have all day. There's 50 more houses to tear down after yours. Irving Walsh: Easy Bran...
