Everything born has to die, in order to make room for the future.
Without libraries what have we? We have no past and no future.
The future is keeping you out of the present time.
After the final no there comes a yes and on that yes the future of the world hangs.
The present was an egg laid by the past that had the future inside its shell.
I own and operate a ferocious ego.
The young Dickens was so alive, so self-confident, so funny.
When I was born I owed twelve dollars.
Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not.
Most of the gaffes I've made have not been funny - they've been stupid.
I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious.
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
Every man has a sane spot somewhere.
It's a funny habit to write encyclopedia entries. It's not a mass taste.
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
We turn toward God only to obtain the impossible.
God save us from religion.
I knew that God put me on this earth to be on the radio.
God forbid that women have fantasies.
When men make gods, there is no God!
Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?
