Alan Garner: Hey guys, when's the next Haley's comet? Phil Wenneck: Who cares, man. Alan Garner: Do you know Stu? Stu Price: I don't think it's for like another sixty years or something. Alan Garner: But it's not tonight right? Stu Price: No I don't ...
Det. Bill Mitchell: Hey Keith, let me see your shoe. Keith Frazier: What? Det. Bill Mitchell: Lemme see your shoe. Keith Frazier: Why? Det. Bill Mitchell: 'Cause I have never seen anyone put their foot that far up a guy's ass. Keith Frazier: [Busts o...
[first lines] Dave Lizewski: I always wondered why nobody did it before me. I mean, all those comic books, movies, TV shows. You think that one eccentric loner would've made himself a costume. I mean, is everyday life really so exciting? Are schools ...
Johnny Rocco: You'd give your left arm to nail me wouldn't you? I could see the headlines now, 'Local Deputy Captures Johnny Rocco'. Your picture'd be in all the papers. You might even get to tell on the newsreels how you pulled if off, yeah. Listen ...
Slevin: But I'm not Nick. Elvis: Yeah, well, unfortunately for you, you're not the first cat to tell me you wasn't the guy I was looking for. Slevin: You can ask Lindsey. She lives across the hall! Elvis: Yo, man, I ain't askin' nobody nothin'! Nick,...
Neckbone: I knew it. I told you that dirty son of a bitch was trouble. Did you tell them where he is? Ellis: No, that's why I called you. He needs to know people are looking for him. Neckbone: You think he doesn't know that already? Jesus, Ellis! Why...
Needleman: Hey, Mr. Sullivan! Sulley: Guys, I told you, call me Sulley. Smitty: [Giggling] I don't think so. Needleman: We just wanted to wish you good luck today. Mike: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on, get lost, you two. You're making him lose his focus...
Alonzo Mosely: Let me tell you something, asshole. I've been working on this Jimmy Serrano thing for about six years; Mardukas is my shot. I'm gonna bring him into federal court, and I don't want any third-rate rent-a-thug who couldn't cut it as a co...
Jonathan Mardukas: Why don't you put the cigarette out. Jack Walsh: Why don't you shut up and leave me alone? Jonathan Mardukas: Put the cigarette out, Jack. Jack Walsh: What a... Jonathan Mardukas: Put the cigarette out. Jack Walsh: [laughing, motio...
Oogie Boogie Man: Well well well. What have we here? Sandy Claws, huh? Ooo I'm really scared! So you're the one everybody's talking about? [laughs] Oogie Boogie Man: [singing] You're joking, you're joking/I can't believe my eyes/You're joking me, you...
Laureen Hobbs: He's plague, he's smallpox, he's typhoid. I don't want to follow his goddamn show. I want out of that 8 o'clock spot. I've got enough troubles without Howard Beale as a lead-in. You guys scheduled me up against "Tony Orlando and Dawn,"...
Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: Let's talk to her... [the gang chats up Carol] Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: So you left Detroit, huh? Peggy: Her and her husband just come in on weekends. Philip 'Cockeye' Stein: Yeah. Beats the seashore. Peggy: She takes on gu...
Rusty: Tell me this is not about her, or I am walking. I am walking off this job right now. Danny: Who? Rusty: Tess. Terry Benedict. Tell me this is not about screwing the guy who's screwing your wife. Danny: Ex wife. It's not about that. [pause] Dan...
[Elias, Barnes and O'Neill argue about what to do with the "cherries."] Sgt. Elias: They don't know shit, Barnes, and chances are we're gonna run into something. Think about it. Sgt. O'Neill: That's just great, Bob, and what do you want me to do? Sen...
Murphy: [getting the drop on two criminals] Hey! Don't move. [Dougy picks up a shot gun and Murphy shoots him dead. Emil grabs his shotgun but just holds it, knowing Murphy's got him dead to rights] Murphy: Go ahead and do it. Dead or alive, you're c...
Game Show MC: Major, Eddie here has a little problem with his girlfriend. Did you ever have a problem like that when you were 10? John Glenn: Yes, I did, Bob. I liked a girl in my class, but all the other guys liked her too and she didn't pay any att...
Herman Blume: You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and...
Milt Shaw: He's filed a lawsuit, Ray, and it's more than a fine. This guy's got juice, he can get you barred from ever playing Georgia again. But he's willing to drop the suit if you make up the gig. Ray Charles: Not if it's segregated. Milt Shaw: Ra...
[first lines] OTB Man #1, Tommy: I'm gonna tell you why they aren't going anywhere. OTB Man #3, Dennis: Why aren't they going anywhere? OTB Man #1, Tommy: Management. OTB Man #3, Dennis: Aw jeez. OTB Man #1, Tommy: Those guys are walkin' around with ...
Eric Cartman: Mom, there's someone at the door. [No reply] Eric Cartman: Mom, I said there's someone at the door! Mrs. Cartman: Coming, hun. Eric Cartman: [as Liane walks past] Ay, I can't see the TV! Mrs. Cartman: Oh, look Eric, It's your little fri...
Randy: You want to know the truth? Lt. Col. Frank Slade: You got a handle on that, do you, Randy? Randy: He was an asshole before. Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Whoo-ah! Randy: Now all he is is a blind asshole. Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Whoo-ah. Randy: Hey, God'...
