I am the kind of guy who has never taken myself too seriously. I mean, I am very serious about what I do; I'm very serious about the creative process and everything, but at the end of the day, I am just another lucky geek who got to live out a dream,...
For every album, I look at where I'm at in my career and think of a title that kind of represents that. And for me, 'Night Train' was kind of a metaphor for where things have gone, from being on one bus with 12 other guys, pulling a trailer my first ...
I don't ever want to become Bill Maher where I have to find some strong opinion on something just because it's in the news. That's the guy that comes off like you have to be angry every week about new topics and snotty about something. That's what I'...
I collect old portraits. They're all just interesting pictures of people, and you just kind of wonder who they were and what they were. There's a guy - I don't know who he is, but he's wearing a suit. He's got his arms folded, and he looks like he so...
Suppose a bad guy guesses the password for your throwaway Yahoo address. Now he goes to major banking and commerce sites and looks for an account registered to that email address. When he finds one, he clicks the 'forgot my password' button and a new...
Traveling as much as I do, I get lonely sometimes. I have friends now in cities all over the world, so I get to be social, but it's hard to have the deep meaningful relationships, especially an intimate one. With my guy friends, I can show up once a ...
CALVIN: This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery? If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it? And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this? HOBBES: I dunno. Isn't th...
She was around ten minutes late, as a matter of fact. I didn't give a damn, though. All that crap they have in cartoons in the Saturday Evening Post and all, showing guys on street corners looking sore as hell because their dates are late - that's bu...
My buddy David Wells is a big motorcycle guy, so when I go visit him in San Diego, he takes me out on his bike. He's got some antique Indians. I never really rode during my career, because I was afraid I'd fall off and ruin my career.
Under normal circumstances, if the centerpiece of a president's campaign is helping the disadvantaged and we are our brother's keeper, the idea that this same guy has an actual brother living in third-world poverty without any help from Obama, this w...
White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I want a real change. People, I want a president who speaks well, who has a sense of humor. This guy is such a moron! ...
We just got a tour bus. I didn't know tour buses could be this nice. It's just me, Brian Haner the guitar guy, the tour manager and a writer. We laugh ourselves silly. Apparently we're going to have a road dog, a miniature pincher. It's the smallest ...
As a kid, I was scared of losing my mind. In Terrell, Texas, where I grew up, there was a guy that would walk down the street talking to himself. And I used to watch him and feel uneasy. And there was a sanitarium where people would say, 'That's wher...
I'm a pretty laid-back kind of guy. What I've always wanted to do is set up situations in our company where if people who worked there needed help, we would try to help them, and at the same token if the company needed help from people, they would he...
When I was a young guy, when I first started with G.E., Jack Welch sent us all to Japan because in those days Japan was gonna crush us. And we learned a lot about Japan when we were there. But over the subsequent 30 years, the Japanese companies all ...
Randal Graves: Hey! Freddy fucking Mercury! Where the fuck is Kelly? Sexy Stud: [pointing at the donkey] This is Kelly! Randal Graves: I thought that was the sexy stud. Sexy Stud: *I'm* the sexy stud. Randal Graves: But this donkey is a dude! Sexy St...
Randal Graves: Some guy just came in refusing to pay late fees. Said the video store was closed for two hours yesterday. So, I tore up his membership. Dante Hicks: Shocking abuse of authority. Randal Graves: Hey, I'm a firm believer in the philosophy...
Jasper: I'm glad you don't take cream or sugar Amigo, losing you and Baby Diego in the same day... would be too hard to bare. Theodore Faron: Well that was even worse, everybody crying. I mean... Baby Diego? Come on, the guy was a wanker! Jasper: Yea...
Ace Rothstein: [talking about Don] The guy is history as far as I'm concerned. History. Phillip Green: You can't just fire him. Webb's his brother-in-law. He's County Commissioner. Ace Rothstein: So what? Everybody out here with cowboy boots is a fuc...
Sonny: You'd like to kill me? Bet you would. Sheldon: I wouldn't like to kill you. I will if I have to. Sonny: It's your job, right? The guy who kills me... I hope he does it because he hates my guts, not because it's his job.
[last lines] Walter Neff: Know why you couldn't figure this one, Keyes? I'll tell ya. 'Cause the guy you were looking for was too close. Right across the desk from ya. Barton Keyes: Closer than that, Walter. Walter Neff: I love you, too.
