Tommy DeVito: What do you want to tell me now, tough guy? I said, "Bing, what are you doing here? I thought I told you to go fuck your mother!" [group laughs] Tommy DeVito: I thought he was gonna shit!
Simon Bishop: Verdell. What's wrong? You miss the tough guy? [imitating Melvin] Simon Bishop: Well, here I am, sweetheart! Happy to see me, you little pissant mop? How 'bout another ride down the chute?
Detective Remy Bressant: [about Patrick] Half the guys he knows are degenerates. Patrick Kenzie: Yeah, you know what the other half are? Detective Remy Bressant: What? Patrick Kenzie: Cops. Don't hold it against me.
Pam: So what's your name icy? Stuntman Mike: Stuntman Mike. Pam: Stuntman Mike's your name. Stuntman Mike: You ask anybody. Pam: Hey Warren, Who is this guy? Warren: Stuntman Mike. Pam: And who the hell is Stuntman Mike? Warren: He's a Stuntman.
Thao Vang Lor: Excuse me Sir, I need a haircut if you ain't too busy you old Italian son of a bitch prick barber. Boy, does my ass hurt from all of the guys at my construction job.
Oddball: Who is that guy, Crapgame? Crapgame: Him? Name's Kelly. Used to be a lieutenant, pretty good one, too, till they gave him orders to attack the wrong hill. Wiped out a half a company of G.I.'s. Somebody had to get the blame and he got picked.
[when Sid Hudgens is found dead] Bud White: What happened? Detective at Hush-Hush Office: Somebody beat him to death and stole a bunch of files. Must've dug up garbage on the wrong guy. Got it narrowed down to a thousand suspects.
Jimmy: The second way out, I need you guy's help, and that's under. Billy Hayes: You mean tunnel? Are you serious? Max: This is Shagmahr prison, not Stalag 17. Jimmy: Well that's where you're wrong fuckface, 'cause it's already built!
Mulan: Just because I look like a man doesn't mean I have to smell like one. Mushu: So a couple of guys don't rinse out their socks. Picky, picky, picky. Well, myself, I kinda like that corn chip smell.
Jimmy Serrano: This is it. Tonight is the fucking night. I am tired of all these screw-ups. As soon as I get the discs from Walsh, you guys drop Walsh and then you drop the Duke. You understand? I get the discs, you drop them.
William of Baskerville: She is already burnt flesh, Adso. Bernardo Gui has spoken: she is a witch. Adso of Melk: But that's not true, and you know it! William of Baskerville: I know. I also know that anyone who disputes the verdict of an Inquisitor i...
Rod Lane: I probably could have saved her if I'd have moved sooner. But I thought it was just another nightmare, like the one I had the night before. There was... there was this guy; he had knives for fingers.
[the rest of the crew get out of the van, with Turk and Virgil in the front; Danny stops Linus] Danny: What are you doing? Linus: I'm coming with you. Danny: No. Linus: What? Oh, no, no... [as they shut the doors on him] Linus: [shouts] Don't leave m...
Linus: The last guy they caught cheating in here? Benedict not only sent him up for 10 years, he had the bank seize his house and then he bankrupted... Rusty, Linus: -his brother-in-law's tractor dealership. Rusty: Yeah, I heard.
Kimmy: [about David] Oh, my God. He is, like, so pathetic. I can't believe you're, like, related to him! Jennifer: Only on my parents' side. Kimmy: Yeah, but you guys are, like, twins and stuff. You must be from the cool side of the uterus.
Mr. Callahan: Nothing, why don't you read first? Patrick: Alright, Chapter 1: Surviving your fascist shop teacher who needs to put kids down to feel big. Oh wow! This is useful guys, we should read on!
Albert Freedman: If you were a kid, would you wanna be an annoying Jewish guy with a side wall haircut? Charles Van Doren: Well I wanted to be Joe Dimaggio. Albert Freedman: Oh yeah, me too. Especially after he signed for that hundred grand.
Lloyd Dobler: I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere? Joe: By choice, man.
Major T. J. "King" Kong: Goldie, how many times have I told you guys that I don't want no horsing around on the airplane?
Frank Lopez: You know what a chazzer is? Tony Montana: No, Frank, you tell me. What is a chazzer? Frank Lopez: It's a Yiddish word for "pig." See, the guy, he wants more than what he needs. He don't fly straight no more.
Pablo Sandoval: A guy can change anything. His face, his home, his family, his girlfriend, his religion,his God. But there's one thing he can't change. He can't change his passion...
