Sean Parker: And that's where you're headed, a billion dollar valuation. Unless you take bad advice, in which case you may as well have come up with a chain of very successful yogurt shops. When you go fishing you can catch a lot of fish, or you can ...
Andrew: Look, you guys keep up your talking and Vernon's gonna come right in here. I got a meet this Saturday and I'm not gonna miss it on account of you boneheads. Bender: Oh, and wouldn't that be a bite, huh? Missing a whole wrestling meet! Andrew:...
I know how you feel about me. I feel the same way. You never have to worry that you don't tell me enough, okay?" There he went again, being all perceptive to the point of being creepy psychic mind reader guy. "You're creepy psychic mind reader guy." ...
You think I don't know what you're doing? This is a typical guy stunt. Protect the helpless female, lead the bad guy away and send her scurrying for help." He put a hand on her cheek. "If he caught up to us and something happened to you… I don't kn...
Where are you guys getting all of this?" I asked. "What does it matter if I - oh come on." We'd reached the lobby and found Eddie and Micah sitting on a bench together. They at least had the decency to look embarrassed. "Not you guys too," I said. "I...
Stop doing stuff that doesn’t help you reach your goals. It sounds simple, doesn’t it? It’s a shame almost no one does it. The most common way we work more and do less is by working on the wrong stuff. We spend our time doing, doing, doing, eve...
But he could never be a made guy himself because of his tainted blood, some Sunset Park Puerto Rican on his father's side, even though he was raised Italian. Chili didn't care to be made anyway, get into all that bullshit having to do with respect. I...
A brick and a blanket walk into a bar, and the bartender turns and says, “What can I get you started with?” Before they could reply, a Finnish guy said, “I’ll take a brick in a blanket, hold the ice.” What the bartender started, the Finnish...
I say, thirteen is too many dogs for good mental health. Five is pretty much the limit. More than five dogs and you forfeit your right to call yourself entirely sane. Even if the dogs are small.
You wanted to lick my face the first time you saw me? Is that usually what you do when you’re attracted to guys?” I shake my head. “Not your face, your dimple. And no. You’re the only guy I’ve ever had the urge to lick.” He smiles at me c...
It could have been quite worse," he agreed magnanimously. "And those two guys who felt up your butt while the maintenance dude was working on that hinge were kicked out because they violated the 'must have fondler's consent' rule, or so that pink-hai...
Jealousy always trumps schadenfreude! It’s a rule from the heartbreak version of ‘rock, paper, scissors.
Cora,come on now. You can find a guy in, like, a second flat. Half the guys in the band have you on their laminated list." She rolled her expressive eyes at me. "I want something real, Jet. Something that is life changing and dramatic, something that...
If a person fights, that's their own choice," Angel says. "But getting two roosters to fight or two dogs like pit bulls to fight, the animals don't have a choice there. They can't decide not to fight.
In general, people are not drawn to perfection in others. People are drawn to shared interests, shared problems, and an individual's life energy. Humans connect with humans. Hiding one's humanity and trying to project an image of perfection makes a p...
Tobin," Mom said disapprovingly. She wasn't a particularly funny person. It suited her professionally - I mean, you don't want your cancer surgeon to walk into the examination room and be like, "Guy walks into a bar. Bartender says, 'What'll ya have?...
What you are to me is the guy that I’ve been madly in love with since sixth grade. You’re the guy I think about every night when I’m in bed by myself. You’re the one who doesn’t want me but insists on keeping me tied so close that I can’t...
Love isn’t stackable and interlocking, like boxes or Legos. Love is like a one-legged man standing on a three-legged chair that is placed on top of a two-legged piano. I should know, because I’m the guy trying to tune that piano, fix that chair, ...
I had this whole plan when I graduated high school: I was going to go to college, date a few guys, and then meet THE guy at the end of my freshman year, maybe at the beginning of my sophomore year. We'd be engaged by graduation and married the next y...
Fantasy imposes order on the universe. Or, at least, it superimposes order on the universe. And it is a human order. Reality tells us that we exist for a brief, beleaguered span in a cold infinity; fantasy tells us that the figures in the foreground ...
When you’re telling a story, you’re trying to connect to people in a particular way … The way in which you guys have inhabited this world, this universe, has made you part of it, part of the story. You are living in Firefly. When I see you guys...
