Dain: I will not stand down before any elf! Not least this faithless Woodland sprite! He wishes nothing but ill upon my people! If he chooses to stand between me and my kin, I'll split his pretty head open! See if he's still smirking then! Thranduil:...
T.V. Director: Now, look. If you think I'm unsuitable, let's have it out in the open. I can't stand these backstage politics. John: Aren't you tending to black-and-white the situation somewhat? T.V. Director: Well, quite honestly, I wasn't expecting ...
Mickey: [Mickey walks up to a disheartened Freddie Othello, dumped by Mary Hatch] What's the matter, Othello - jealous? Did you know there's a swimming pool under this floor? And did you know that *button* behind you causes this floor to open up? And...
Centurion: You know the penalty laid down by Roman law for harboring a known criminal? Matthias: No. Centurion: Crucifixion! Matthias: Oh. Centurion: Nasty, eh? Matthias: Could be worse. Centurion: What you mean "Could be worse"? Matthias: Well, you ...
Jesus: [Opening lines] The feeling begins. Very tender, very loving. Then the pain starts. Claws slip underneath the skin and tear their way up. Just before they reach my eyes, they dig in. And I remember. First I fasted for three months. I even whip...
[after landing the Nebuchaunezzer to hide from the Sentinels] Morpheus: How we doing Tank? [Tank types on the keyboard and the main power goes off] Tank: Main power offline. EMP armed... [Tank opens the cover to the EMP switch] Tank: and ready. Neo: ...
Diana Christensen: [flipping through the newspaper] You know, Barbara, the Arabs have decided to jack up the price of oil another 20%... uh, the CIA has been caught opening Senator Humphrey's mail... there's a civil war in Angola... another one in Be...
Diana Christensen: Look, we've got a bunch of hobgoblin radicals called the Ecumenical Liberation Army who go around taking home movies of themselves robbing banks. Now, maybe they'll take movies of themselves kidnapping heiresses, hijacking 747s, bo...
[Steve opens the window next to the neighbor's house] Steve: We've got a good game going on here. Ben Tuthill: My kids wanna watch Mr. Rogers. Steve: I don't care what you're watching Ben, just show a little mercy with that thing! Ben Tuthill: Move y...
Mr. McDougal: Well this is a pleasant surprise. I wasn't expecting another deposit until the end of the month. Michael Sullivan: Actually, I'm making a withdrawal. [Pulls his gun] Michael Sullivan: And I want dirty money only, everything you're holdi...
Herman Blume: [on Max's offering a small box] What's this? [Herman opens it and looks] Max Fischer: That's the Perfect Attendance Award and the Punctuality Award. I got those at Rushmore. I thought you could choose which one you like more, and you co...
Jerry Wexler: Ruth Brown's got a tour booked in Georgia. She needs a band. Ray Charles: I'll take it. I could write the charts for her, I could do backup, and I could also be an opening act. Ahmet Ertegun: Okay. But you're gonna be financially respon...
Title card: [first title cards] In May 1980, Fidel Castro opened the harbor at Mariel, Cuba with the apparent intention of letting some of his people join their relatives in the United States. Within seventy-two hours, 3,000 U.S. boats were headed fo...
[as they approach Fiona's castle, Donkey smells the air] Donkey: Whoa, Shrek, did you do that? Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that, my mouth was open and everything! Shrek: Donkey, if that was me, you'd be dead! [sniffs] Shrek...
[Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett buy what appears to be Pirelli's Miracle Elixir] Sweeney Todd: [opens the lid] What is this? Mrs. Lovett: What is this? Sweeney Todd: Smells like piss. Mrs. Lovett: [sniffs] Smells like, eww! Sweeney Todd: Looks like pis...
Howard: Now here's where we're bound for, hereabouts. Don't show properly whether there's mountains, swamp, or desert. That shows the makers of the map themselves don't know for sure. Once on the ground, all we gotta do is open our eyes and look arou...
[as they all observe the subway station] Ajax: Come on, what kind of chickenshit crap is this. Cochise: Yeah, come on? We're here, what are we waiting for? Fox: The train would help! Unless you wanna go up there and get jacked on an open platform. Co...
Charlie Kaufman: We open on Charlie Kaufman. Fat, old, bald, repulsive, sitting in a Hollywood restaurant, across from Valerie Thomas, a lovely, statuesque film executive. Kaufman, trying to get a writing assignment, wanting to impress her, sweats pr...
Mortimer Brewster: I saw a play last week, it had a character in it, reminded me of Jonathon. Abby Brewster: Oh, really? Mortimer Brewster: Yeah, a honey of a lunatic. One of those whodunits called "Murder Will Out". Abby Brewster: Oh, dear! Mortimer...
Aladdin: Hey... can you make me a prince? Genie: [opens 'Royal Recipes' book] Uh, let's see. "Chicken à la King"? [chuckles] Genie: Nope. "Alaskan king crab". [pulls out a crab clamped to his finger] Genie: [flicking it off] Ow. I hate when they do ...
Carter Chambers: Edward Perryman Cole died in May. It was a Sunday in the afternoon and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. He was 81 years old. Even now, I can't claim to understand the measure of a life, but I can tell you this: I know that when he di...
