Ace Rothstein: [voice-over] And what happens next? I can't believe it. Who the hell would believe that the FBI had a wire in the place looking for some information about some old homicide about some guy who was whacked out God knows when over God kno...
[Wikus enters an MNU code and the gate opens] [an MNU agent shoots several bullets at Wikus, causing him to pull the trigger of his Alien gun and shoot the agent] Christopher Johnson: [the MNU agent explodes] Fuck! [Wikus takes off his mask and check...
[Raj is lying with his head on Simran's legs. She is stroking Raj's head] Simran Singh: Raj, do you know what day is tomorrow? Raj Malhotra: [opens his eyes desperately] What is it now? Simran Singh: Tomorrow is my first Karwa Chaud. I want you to gi...
The Joker: If we don't deal with this now, soon little, uh, Gambol here won't be able to get a nickel for his grandma. Gambol: [explodes] Enough from the clown! [He rises to his feet; Joker does too, opening his coat to reveal a cluster of grenades, ...
The Joker: [to Gambol's thugs, being held helpless by his own] Now, our operation is small, but there's a lot of potential for "aggressive" expansion. So, which one of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team? Oh, there's only one spot open rig...
Happy: [after cracking open the bank's safe] They wired this thing up with, like, 5,000 volts. What kind of bank does that? Grumpy: A mob bank. I guess the Joker is as crazy as they say. Where's the alarm guy? Happy: Boss told me, when the guy was do...
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Why, if I had half a chance, I could make an entire movie using this stock footage. The story opens on these mysterious explosions. Nobody knows what's causing them, but it's upsetting all the buffalo. So, the military are called...
[demonstrating a weapon] Zorg: Voila! The ZF-1. [the weapon opens, and Zorg picks it up] Zorg: It's light. Handle's adjustable for easy carrying, good for righties and lefties. Breaks down into four parts, undetectable by x-ray, ideal for quick, disc...
Sean: Do you have a soul mate? Will: Define that. Sean: Someone you can relate to, someone who opens things up for you. Will: Sure, I got plenty. Sean: Well, name them. Will: Shakespeare, Nietzsche, Frost, O'Conner... Sean: Well that's great. They're...
Enid: I already told you I'm not going to college. Enid's Dad: [spreading jam on a muffin] Well, I think it's a good idea to keep all your options open. You could even enrol in the winter quarter. You could actually live here and go to the city colle...
Dain: I will not stand down before any elf! Not least this faithless Woodland sprite! He wishes nothing but ill upon my people! If he chooses to stand between me and my kin, I'll split his pretty head open! See if he's still smirking then! Thranduil:...
Nicholas Angel: With respect, sir, you can't just make people disappear. Chief Inspector: Yes I can, I'm the Chief Inspector. Nicholas Angel: Well however you spin this, there's one thing you haven't taken into account. And that's what the team are g...
Bilbo Baggins: [as four dwarves start rearranging his kitchen, his doorbell rings again] Oh no. No. There's nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There're far to many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If this is some cluthead's idea of a ...
T.V. Director: Now, look. If you think I'm unsuitable, let's have it out in the open. I can't stand these backstage politics. John: Aren't you tending to black-and-white the situation somewhat? T.V. Director: Well, quite honestly, I wasn't expecting ...
[Edie is driving Tom home from his shop] Edie Stall: We never got to be teenagers together. Tom Stall: Uh-hunh. Edie Stall: I'm gonna fix that. [the children are away; when they get home, she goes into their daughter's bathroom while he cleans their ...
Mickey: [Mickey walks up to a disheartened Freddie Othello, dumped by Mary Hatch] What's the matter, Othello - jealous? Did you know there's a swimming pool under this floor? And did you know that *button* behind you causes this floor to open up? And...
Centurion: You know the penalty laid down by Roman law for harboring a known criminal? Matthias: No. Centurion: Crucifixion! Matthias: Oh. Centurion: Nasty, eh? Matthias: Could be worse. Centurion: What you mean "Could be worse"? Matthias: Well, you ...
Jesus: [Opening lines] The feeling begins. Very tender, very loving. Then the pain starts. Claws slip underneath the skin and tear their way up. Just before they reach my eyes, they dig in. And I remember. First I fasted for three months. I even whip...
[Gandalf touches the stone surface of the walls of Moria] Gandalf: Now, let's see... Ithildin. It mirrors only starlight and moonlight. [moonlight shines on the wall, and the doors are revealed] Gandalf: It reads: The doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. S...
Slevin: You're not as tall as I thought you'd be. Lindsey: Well, I'm short for my height. Slevin: That makes sense because I can usually tell how tall someone is by their knock. You have a deceptively tall knock. Congratulations. Lindsey: So it's a g...
Dave Boyle: Hey, you think I can get that Sprite, Sean? Sean Devine: Sure. [opens the door to leave] Dave Boyle: Oh, I get it. You're the good cop. How about a meatball sub while you're at it? Sean Devine: I ain't your bitch, Dave. Looks like you're ...