Money doesn't transform a person - the only thing that can is love.
The only thing we should scream into the world is love.
And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.
Love is two unicorns arguing over which is better: one animal with two horns, like a bull, or two animals with one horn apiece. I guess it doesn’t matter, because you should never debate when you’re horny.
When I hear someone’s sick, my first thought is selfishly, Better him than me. My second thought is more altruistic: Better him than one of my loved ones.
And isn't that the tragedy of love, it's utter and complete deceit, that you can only be true in it, that you only wish to reveal your full truth to the one you love, with no frills and no lies, that you want to be loved as you are? That you wish to ...
As I went through all these experiences, I began to compile a list that wasn't written down in any book, only inscribed in my soul. To me these were as universal, dependable, and invariable as the laws of nature. Together they constituted The Forty R...
We were made for God. Only by being in some respect like Him, only by being a manifestation of His beauty, lovingkindness, wisdom or goodness, has any earthly Beloved excited our love.
With friends like me, who needs mannequins? My love for you is statuesque. Come, let us dance like we’re made of stone.
I am the qorj of love. If you find that hard to believe, then I’d like to sell you a Bible.
My book has no plot. Wait, yes it does—in the cemetery. It’s a love story where one character is dead, and the other is a dirty pervert.
Ever seen a cat with polka-dotted zebra fur? Come to my House of Love Open House this Friday night at 8:00 PM.
I made Tuesday Salad like Monday morning is Sunday night. Do you agree on the difference a day can make in the realm of love?
I cried at the funeral. It wasn’t because I loved her, it was because I was there, in the front pew at the church, chopping onions.
I want a coffee machine that runs on gasoline and drives me to work. We can make love in the backseat, next to the cream and sugar.
Every time we made love, one of us cried. Mostly it was me, out of joy, but occasionally it was her, out of despair.
My ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated grandpa. But I never inhaled—or told him I loved him.
The fire burnt down our House of Love. Our relationship didn’t work because I was the water, and she was the empty hose.
Just because your plate is empty, doesn’t mean your stomach is full. Same with love. Where’s the Romance Buffet?
In the future, man will travel on flying carpets, and shoes that float on water. And we’ll all make love together, as one, as one might masturbate today.
When I didn’t see a ghost, I knew I’d seen a ghost, because ghosts are invisible. This logic also lets me know when I’m in love.
