Quotes of: Onenight Keyword

I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

Dudley Moore

I'm like a rock singer with one-night stands on the road.

Karl Lagerfeld

I don't like to overdose. Call me old-fashioned.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

I can't," I said. "I threw my back out masturbating.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

It's a rock 'n' roll thing to have one-night stands.

Rick Springfield

One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

When I get married, I'm gonna register at Bank of America.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

I have a question. Is it okay to drink while you're pregnant...if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looking.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

I had always dreamed of being a professional escort but never thought that there was any real money in it.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

So what do you do for sex? Just one-night stands? Or do you play a lot of five-on-one?" -- Clarissa

Blank Slate

I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush speak.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

How could I have missed the opportunity to pop pills with my sister who was purer than a Quaker?

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

If I had seen pictures of people eating each other on the wall, I would've told him I was into cannibalism.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

My time in heaven was up, and I was being told I wasn't the marrying kind by someone who undresses for a living.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity I had stolen.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

My mother is the antithesis of a typical Jewish mother, she is very soft-spoken and takes more naps that a cat. As a result, I've always longed for someone to really annoy the shit out of me.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands