Luna Lovegood: [about her father] We believe you, by the way. That He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back, and you fought him, and the Ministry and the Prophet are conspiring against you and Dumbledore. Harry Potter: Thanks. Seems you're about the only one...
Dolores Umbridge: [Harry has come in to do his detention] You're going to be doing some lines for me, Mr. Potter. [Potter opens his bag for his quill but Umbridge stops him] Dolores Umbridge: No, not with your quill. You're going to be using a rather...
Hogarth Hughes: I thought you might like, you know, a bedtime story. I have some really cool ones. Mad Magazine - very funny. The Spirit - very cool. Boy's Life - eh. Oh, here. This is Superman. He's a lot like you. Crash-landed on Earth, didn't know...
Man at Bar: Why do you drink so much? Please go home, Mr. Bailey. Mr. Welch: [sitting right beside George] Bailey? Which Bailey? Giuseppe Martini: This is Mr. George Bailey. [Mr. Welch angrily pulls George Bailey up to his face by the lapels with one...
Lucius: [Bob and Lucius are sitting in a parked car, reminiscing] So now I'm in deep trouble. I mean, one more jolt of this death ray and I'm an epitaph. Somehow I manage to find cover and what does Baron von Ruthless do? Bob: [laughing] He starts mo...
[first lines] Narrator: At exactly 3:45 on that Saturday afternoon in the last week of September, Marvin Unger was, perhaps, the only one among the hundred thousand people at the track who felt no thrill at the running of the fifth race. He was total...
[Po slurps up noodles, one ends up draped on his nose like Shifu's mustaches. Everyone starts chuckling] Po: What? Mantis: Oh, nothing... Master Shifu. Po: Oh, yeah, yeah. [imitating Shifu] Po: You will never be the Dragon Warrior, unless you lose 50...
[first lines] Max: I still ask myself if I did the right thing when I abandoned his floating city. And I don't mean only for the work. The fact is, a friend like that, a real friend - you won't meet one again. If you just decide to hang up your sea l...
Constance Harraway: [giving an anti-death penalty speech] When you kill someone, you rob their family - not just of a loved one, but of their humanity. You harden their hearts with hate, you take away their capacity for civilized dispassion, you cond...
Umpire: No ball! Capt. Russell: [as he and Yardley, slightly incredulous, go over to the umpire] What? Umpire: No ball! Yardley: You're kidding me... Capt. Russell: "No ball"? What do you mean, "no ball"? Umpire: His foot was over the line. Capt. Rus...
Pippin: [kneeling] I offer you my service, such as it is, in payment of this debt. Denethor: This is my first command to you. How did you escape, and my son did not, so mighty a man as he was? Pippin: The mightiest man may be slain by one arrow... an...
Clare Quilty: She's a yellow belt. I'm a green belt. That's the way nature made it. What happens is, she throws me all over the place. Swine: She throws you all over the place? Clare Quilty: Yes. What she does, she gets me in a, sort of, thing called...
Frank: I take it you didn't like it at Sunset Manor? Sheryl: Frank... Grandpa: Are you kidding me? It was a fucking paradise. They got pool... They got golf... Now I'm stuck with Mr. Happy here, sleeping on a fucking sofa. Look, I know you are a homo...
Sera: [Ben has been on another binge] I want you to see a doctor. Ben Sanderson: Sera... I'm not gonna see a doctor. Perhaps now would be a good time for me to move back to a motel. Sera: And do what? Rot away in a room? We're not gonna talk about th...
[Clayton Townley is addressing a large audience at a night-time pro-white rally] Clayton Townley: I love Mississippi. Audience: YAY! Clayton Townley: THEY! They hate Mississippi! They hate us because we present a shining example of *successful* segre...
Dr. Yen Lo: Attractive plant you have here. Zilkov: Thank you, doctor. It's actually a rest home for wealthy alcoholics. We were able to purchase it three years ago. Except for this floor and the floor above it, which is sealed off for security purpo...
Alan Kligman, Esq.: Linda, stop. Now you take a moment, you breathe, and one thing at a time. Linda Partridge: Shut the fuck up. Alan Kligman, Esq.: You know what would help you, Linda? Linda Partridge: Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Alan Kligma...
Laura Bishop: I'm sorry, Walt. Walt Bishop: It's not your fault. [pause] Walt Bishop: Which injuries are you apologizing for, specifically? Laura Bishop: Specifically? Whichever ones still hurt. Walt Bishop: Half of those were self-inflicted. [starin...
Alfred P. Doolittle: The old bloke died and left me four thousand pounds a year in his bloomin' will. Who asked him to make a gentleman out of me? I was happy. I was free. I touched pretty nigh everyone for money when I wanted it, same as I touched h...
Ainsworth: During the night, old Perkins got his leg bitten sort of... off. Dr. Livingstone: Ah, been in the wars, have we? Perkins: Yes. Dr. Livingstone: Ah, any headache? Bowels all right? Hm. Well, let's have a look at this "one leg" of yours, the...
Bert: Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke I saved for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it? Uncle Albert: [sobbing] I'd be so grateful. Bert: Well it's about me granddad, see, and one night he has a nightmare. He was so scared, he chewed his...
