Bill: [the Bride lunges for Bill's sword, Bill draws a gun and shoots, barely missing her] Now if you don't settle down, I'm gonna have to put one in your kneecap. And I hear tell that's a very painful place to get shot in. [he suddenly fires again, ...
T.E. Lawrence: I killed two people. One was... yesterday? He was just a boy and I led him into quicksand. The other was... well, before Aqaba. I had to execute him with my pistol, and there was something about it that I didn't like. General Allenby: ...
Tafas: Here you may drink... [Lawrence nods and takes out his canteen to drink water] Tafas: One cup. [pointing the tincup] T.E. Lawrence: [Lawrence pours in some water] You do not drink? Tafas: No. [Tafas shakes his head like saying no] T.E. Lawrenc...
[talking about her ex-boyfriend] Natalie: He says no one's gonna fancy a girl with thighs the size of big tree trunks. Not a nice guy, actually, in the end. Prime Minister: Ah! You know, um, being Prime Minister, I could just have him murdered. Natal...
[on sheets of poster board] Mark: With any luck, by next year - I'll be going out with one of these girls. [shows pictures of beautiful supermodels] Mark: But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christm...
Sam: There's this big concert at the end of term, and Joanna's in it. And I thought, maybe if I was in the band, and played absolutely superbly, there's a chance that she might actually fall in love with me. What do you think? Daniel: I think it's br...
Brian: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again? Ex-Leper: Uh, I could do that sir, yeah. Yeah, I could do that I suppose. What I was thinking was I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the mid...
[On the run from Roman soldiers, Brain lands on a public stage prophets. Brian quickly decides to disgues himself as one] Brian: [Unsure and stuttering] Don't... pass judgement... on other people, or you might be judged yourself. Passer-by: [as if sh...
Constance Harraway: The TA just finished transcribing all the governor's radio and TV comments. Listen to this gem: Journalist - "Governor, don't you think three executions in one week is a little excessive?" Governor - "I say let's bring them in, st...
Lieutenant Okubo: Shall I finish him off? Baron Nishi: No. Treat him. Lieutenant Okubo: But, sir... Baron Nishi: Okubo, you would expect the same, wouldn't you? Endo, treat him. Medic Endo: We are low on morphine as it is. Shimizu: Sir, the Americans...
[singing] Merry, Pippin: You can search far and wide. You can drink the whole town dry. But you'll never find a beer so brown as the one we drink in our hometown. You can drink your fancy ales. You can drink them by the flagon. But the only brew for...
Gimli: What kind of army would linger in such a place? Legolas: One that is cursed. Long ago the men of the mountain swore an oath to the last king of Gondor, to come to his aid, to fight. But when the time came, when Gondor's need was dire, they fle...
Theoden: I take my leave. Aragorn: My Lord Elrond. Elrond: I come on behalf of one whom I love. Arwen is dying. She will not long survive the evil that now spreads from Mordor. The light of the Evenstar is failing. As Sauron's power grows, her streng...
Little Horse: [an obvious "two-spirit" Indian approaches Jack] Little Big Man! You have returned. Don't you remember me? That hurts me deep in my heart. Jack Crabb: [voiceover] It was Little Horse; the boy who wouldn't go on the raid against the Pawn...
Cosette: You will live, Papa you're going to live. It's too soon too soon to say goodbye. Jean Valjean: Yes Cosette, forbid me now to die I'll obey. I'll try. On this page I write my last confession. Read it well when I at last am sleeping. It's the ...
Ursula: Oh, and there is one more thing. We haven't discussed the subject of payment. You can't get something for nothing, you know. Ariel: But I don't have any. Ursula: I'm not asking much. Just a token really, a trifle. You'll never even miss it. W...
Triton: Any sign of them? Seahorse: No, Your Majesty. We searched everywhere. We've found no trace of your daughter or Sebastian. Triton: Well, keep looking. Leave no shell unturned, no coral unexplored, and let no one in this kingdom sleep until she...
Sam: This is it. Frodo: This is what? Sam: If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been. Frodo: Come on, Sam. Remember what Bilbo used to say: "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the r...
Gimli: [upon leaving Lorien and Galadriel] I have been dealt a wound beyond all healing, for I have looked the last... upon that which was fairest. [sighs] Gimli: Henceforth I will call nothing fair unless it be her gift to me. Legolas: What was it? ...
Gandalf: [speaking the words engraved on the Ring] Ash Nazg Durbatuluk, Ash Nazg Gimbatul, Ash Nazg Thrakatuluk, Agh Burzum-ishi Krimpatul. [the light darkens and the air rumbles] Elrond: Never before has any one dared utter the words of that tongue ...
The Fool: I am ignorant, but I read books. You won't believe it, everything is useful... this pebble for instance. Gelsomina: Which one? The Fool: Anyone. It is useful. Gelsomina: What for? The Fool: For... I don't know. If I knew I'd be the Almighty...
