Deep down inside, each of us knows what our truths are. It is forgivable to lose them...It is unforgivable not to reclaim them.
When I didn’t see a ghost, I knew I’d seen a ghost, because ghosts are invisible. This logic also lets me know when I’m in love.
People, they only love themselves because you only love yourself. Love them, and they will love you.
A fly with an elephant on its back would give the illusion of a flying elephant, if that fly were powered by my love for you.
I make love like others make money. You’ve got to spend money to make money, right? If not, then why am I paying for sex?
I live a single life. But only because there’s not enough room in my astronaut suit for two. There’s no love on the moon.
I love Ocala. I also love anal sex with midgets. I mean I would, if I were an averagely perverted politician.
Love is like a rain cloud under the dome of an umbrella. But I’m cool with that, because that’s what I call a portable shower.
Welcome to Dinnerville, where it's always breakfast. When love is in the air, you can tell it’s about to rain.
I am the WhoBob, but NOT the WHoBob Machine. That would be Dale Elad, who’s also the lead singer of Palindrome Lover.
Love between two people is sacred, and also secret—and shouldn’t be shared with a third person. But come on, you can trust me.
We made love like two cars that were out of gas. I tried to fill her up, but couldn’t because I myself was empty.
I make love like Jello-O is liquid. And I masturbate like Jell-O is solid. I’m tired of sex with blow up dolls.
We’re all lonely and looking for love, even if you’re fat, stinky, and asexual. You should wear a suit of armor when you have sex.
Don't stay too long in the shame-filled grounds of relapse. Fertile soil awaits your return and your recoverying.
I watch you while you sleep. Is that love? It would be, if I put down my binoculars, and you picked up your phone.
Today I’m in love. Today is Tuesday, though that’s not why I’m in love. I’m in love with Friday, and I actually fell in love yesterday.
My voice is raspy, like Rasputin’s beard. My love is like a mustache hidden in a patch of armpit hair. Come, feel what I feel for you.
No doubt you are wondering what you will find, out there.' The Commandant said it for me. 'Well, it would be useless for me to try and tell you. The desert tells a different story every time one ventures on it...
Nine times out of ten I left one out. But the one I leave out is never love. I always put love in—even when I put it in your butt.
One of the strangest phenomena of our time, and one that will probably be a matter of astonishment to our decedents, is that doctrine which is founded upon this triple hypothesis: the radical passiveness of mankind, -the omnipotence of the law, -the ...
