The first time I did stand-up I was 17, and I was really a stand-up once I was 19 in New York, and now I'm 41, and I still feel like I haven't found myself onstage. Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I w...
The 'New York Honk,' as it was called, was the most fashionable accent an American male could have at that time, namely, the spring of 1963. One achieved it by forcing all words out through the nostrils rather than the mouth. It was at once virile......
'Polisse' is the sort of cop thriller where people do things like angrily bang on a desktop or sweep everything off it. If it happens once, it must happen six times. But every time it did, I wanted to stand up and cheer, which I've never wanted to do...
I collect travel alarm clocks. I was in a flea market in France once, in 1994, and I opened up this beautiful Jaeger-LeCoultre folding eight-day winding clock folded into a beautiful case, and I went, 'Wow, man.' And I've been collecting travel alarm...
Remember travel agents? Remember how they just kind of vanished one day? Well, that's where all the other jobs that once made us middle class are going, to that same magical, class-killing, job-sucking wormhole into which travel agency jobs vanished,...
Once I accidentally left my passport in Nice, France, when I was on my way to Prague. Upon arriving in Vienna, after taking an overnight, and being asked to present my travel documents and realizing I forgot them at the hotel, they kicked me off the ...
It's the most terrifying thing for me, improv. It's a complete lack of control of both narrative and performance. Once you let yourself go into that, it's totally fun. The terrifying thing is, do I trust myself to let go of the handles and not embarr...
Botox, trust me I've been tempted - but I resist! Think about what happens to your muscles - and your skin - if you're sick and don't move for a few days. It all atrophies! Plus, if you freeze a muscle in your face, other muscles have to compensate! ...
The influence of 'Hidden Fortress' comes up a lot because it was printed in a book once. The truth is, the only thing I was inspired by was the fact that it's told from the point of view of two peasants, who get mixed up with a samurai and princess a...
Mr. Daws: Did I ever tell you I was struck by lightning seven times? Once when I was in the field, just tending to my cows: [brief footage of a man getting struck by lightning]
Razin, Liberius' Lieutenant: [Zhivago is trying to aide a wounded White soldier] It does not matter! Zhivago: Have you ever loved a woman, Razin? Razin, Liberius' Lieutenant: I once had a wife and four children.
Joe: [after saving Marisol and her family and giving them money] Marisol: Why do you do it for us? Joe: Why? I knew someone like you once. There was no one to there to help. Now get moving.
Dr. Archibald "Moonlight" Graham: This is my most special place in all the world, Ray. Once a place touches you like this, the wind nevers blows so cold again. You feel for it, like it was your child.
Ray Kinsella: I did it all. I listened to the voices, I did what they told me, and not once did I ask what's in it for me. Shoeless Joe Jackson: What are you saying, Ray? Ray Kinsella: I'm saying, what's in it for me?
[as the pelicans watch Gerald choking on his breakfast] Nigel: Reckon somebody oughta help the poor guy. Pelicans: [all shrug and mutter] Yeah, yeah right... Nigel: [sarcastically] Well, don't everybody fly off at once.
Melvin Udall: I've got Jews at my table. Carol Connelly: It's not your table, behave! This once, you can sit at someone else's station. [all the other waitresses gasp] Carol Connelly: Or you can wait your turn.
M. Gustave: You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity. Indeed that's what we provide in our own modest, humble, insignificant... oh, fuck it.
Kay: It made me think of what you once told me: "In five years the Corleone family will be completely legitimate." That was seven years ago. Michael Corleone: I know. I'm trying, darling.
Lucilla: Is Rome worth one good man's life? We believed it once. Make us believe it again. He was a soldier of Rome. Honor him. Gracchus: Who will help me carry him? [Gladiators surround Maximus to carry him out of the arena]
Mouth: [examining coins in the well] President Lincoln... George Washington... Martin Sheen... Stef: Martin Sheen? That's President Kennedy, you idiot! Mouth: Well, same difference. I mean, he played Kennedy once.
Tuco: [to Corporal Wallace] I told you once, friend, if I ever get you down, you're going to need a lot of help to get back up again!
