Vincent Ludwig: Tell me, Mr. Papshmir, in all the world, who is the most effective assassin? Papshmir: Well, I would think ANYONE who manages to conceal his identity as an assassin. Vincent Ludwig: Yes, but there is even a more ideal assassin - one w...
[about the relationship between Steven and Sheba] Barbara Covett: Well, that's when you should've stopped it. Sheba Hart: I did! I told him I wouldn't teach him any more. But he refused to accept it, he just kept coming back. It began to feel like ou...
Clark Griswald: [talking about Aunt Edna] She can't weigh more than 100 pounds. Ellen Griswald: Oh, no. You can't just put her on the roof. Audrey Griswald: Yes, he can! Clark Griswald: You want me to strap her to the hood? She'll be fine. It's not a...
Clark: I've spent the last 15 years of my life developing newer and better food additives. I guess I've missed an awful lot. At first, I didn't want to take this vacation. But, now I'm glad I did. It's given me a chance to spend a lot more time with ...
Homer: [gunshot in background] Hey Quentin! [another gunshot] Homer: That rocket had to have gone up at least 100 feet didn't it? Quentin: More like two hundred. [another gunshot] Homer: Goddammit. Homer: [another gunshot] Will you cut it out, Roy Le...
Inigo Montoya: Where is this Count Rugen now, so I may kill him? Fezzik: He's in the castle with the prince. But the castle gate is guarded by thirty men. Inigo Montoya: [angrily kicks a stool, then calms down] How may do you think you could handle? ...
Mrs. Bennet: ...and then he danced the third with Miss Lucas. Mr. Bennet: We were all there, dear. Mrs. Bennet: Oh, poor thing. It is a shame she's not more handsome. There's a spinster in the making and no mistake. The fourth with a Miss King, of li...
Keller Dover: [driving along] You know the most important thing your granddad ever taught me? Hmm? Be ready. Hurricane, flood, whatever it ends up being. No more food gets delivered to the grocery store, gas stations dry up. People just turn on each ...
Dutch: Yesterday, what did you see? Dillon: You're wasting your time. Dutch: No more games! Anna: I don't know what it was. It... [surprised look on Dillon's face] Dutch: Go on. Anna: It changed colours, like the chameleon, it uses the jungle. Dillon...
The Unmarried Mother: I stopped looking in the mirror. I hated what I saw. I have no photos of myself as a young girl. I don't even remember what I looked like. It's just more of a feeling now. The Bartender: Well, you look better than I do. The Unma...
Charlie: I know who you are, Sam. I know I'm quiet... and, and I know I should speak more. But if you knew the things that were in my head most of the time, you'd know what it really meant. How, how much we're alike, and how we've been through the sa...
Marion: Well, Jones, at least you haven't forgotten how to show a lady a good time. Indiana: Boy, you're something! Marion: Yeah? I'll tell you what; Until I get back my five thousand dollars, you're gonna get more than you bargained for. I'm your go...
Jake La Motta: Friends. They're in a huddle. Big business meeting. By the pool, they sit around and talk. Big deals. They make sure she can hear. Big Man. Get the fuck outta here. Big shot. Get 'em all in a back room, smack 'em around, no more big sh...
Dougy: We keep robbin' banks but we never get to keep the money. Emil: Takes money to make money. We steal money to buy coke then sell the coke to make even more money. Capital investment, man. Dougy: Yeah, but why bother making it when we can just s...
Mother Church Mouse: Friar Tuck, we've saved this. It's not much, but please take it for the poor. Friar Tuck: Your last farthing? Oh, Little Sister, no one can give more than that! [deposits farthing into the poor box] Friar Tuck: Bless you both! Fa...
Man in a Punt: Great sport, this! Woman in a Punt: What? Man in a Punt: I said, it's great sport, this punting! [Their punt passes another one beached behind some reeds, where James and Sylvia are making out] James Bond: I couldn't agree with him mor...
Michael Sullivan, Jr.: So when do I get my share of the money? Michael Sullivan: Well... how much do you want? Michael Sullivan, Jr.: Two hundred dollars. Michael Sullivan: Okay. Deal. [Michael Jr. stops eating and thinks for awhile] Michael Sullivan...
Richie: Read it back to me so far, Pietro. Cote d'Ivoire Radio Operator: [speaks with an Italian accent, his words are shown in subtitles] "Dear Eli, I'm in the middle of the ocean. I haven't left my room in four days. I've never been more lonely in ...
President Merkin Muffley: I will not go down in history as the greatest mass-murderer since Adolf Hitler. General "Buck" Turgidson: Perhaps it might be better, Mr. President, if you were more concerned with the American People than with your image in...
Vaughan Cunningham: Please don't tell anybody at the store that Albert was here. You know how this town is. Everybody spreads cruel rumors. Melinda: You mean about you and Albert being that way...? I think everybody at the store already knows about i...
[narration] Marv: The night's as hot as hell. It's a lousy room in a lousy part of a lousy town - I'm staring at a goddess. She's telling me she wants me. I'm not going to waste one more minute wondering how I've gotten this lucky. She smells like an...
