John Mooney: Are you disappointed? Charlie: Disappointed? Why should I be disappointed? I got rose bushes didn't I? I got a used car, didn't I? This other guy, what'd you call him? John Mooney: The beneficiary. Charlie: Yeah him, he got $3,000,000 bu...
Mila Yugorsky: I was prostitute in Moscow. Yugorsky Escort Service offered to bring girls over with promise of big bucks. We would owe $50,000, you know, pay back through work. I take offer, not tell them I'm pregnant. When they find out, they insist...
Remy: [cooking a mushroom over the chimney] The key is to keep turning it. Get the smoky flavor niiice and even... [thunder rumbles in the distance] Emile: That storm's getting closer. Hey, Remy? You think that maybe we shouldn't be so... [lightning ...
Young Chas Tenenbaum: [about Margot's play] Well, what'd you think, Dad? Royal: Didn't seem believable to me. [to Eli] Royal: Why are you wearing pajamas? Do you live here? Young Richie Tenenbaum: He has permission to sleep over. Young Chas Tenenbaum...
Oberon: You know, Marlene and Gossie's the ones running the game on you, Ray. They sliced up the pie the first night you played. Thirty-five percent off the top. Plus Gossie's double scale as leader. Ray Charles: Leader. If anyone's leadin' the band ...
Jeff Brown: Where you from Ray? Ray Charles: North Florida. Jeff Brown: Old North Florida boy. Your people still down there? Ray Charles: Naw. Jeff Brown: All right. Hey, pardon me for asking, but how do you get around so good without a cane or a dog...
Terence: We wrote one last night outside the mini mart. Morris called it "Stuart Drives A Comfortable Car" and then like in country songs, you know, in parentheses it says "There's Usually Someone in the Trunk." And, and um, I came up with a tune jus...
[Shrek is hit by an arrow] Princess Fiona: Oh!... oh, this is all my fault... Donkey: Why, what's wrong? Princess Fiona: Shrek's hurt! Donkey: Shrek's hurt? Shrek's HURT? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die! Shrek: Donkey, I'm okay! Donkey: You can't do this t...
Shrek: Princess, I was SENT to rescue you by Lord Farquad, okay? HE's the one that wants to marry you. Princess Fiona: Well, why didn't he come to rescue me? Shrek: Good question! You can ask him that when we get there... Princess Fiona: But I'm supp...
Mickey: The deal was you bought it like you saw it. Hey, look, I've helped you as much as I'm going to help you. See that car? Just use it for you're not welcome anymore. You should fuck off now while you still got the legs to carry you. Gorgeous Geo...
Ham Porter: *play ball!* Hurry up, batter. This better be a short game, I gotta get home for lunch. [Pitcher pitches and the batter fails to even swing] Ham Porter: Haha, that's one. [cuts to new pitch] Ham Porter: [to the batter] You know, if my dog...
[Spock Prime and Kirk arrive at a derelict Starfleet outpost, and discover... ] Scotty: You realize how unacceptable this is? Spock Prime: Fascinating! Scotty: Okay, I'm sure you're just doing your job, but could you not have come a wee bit sooner? S...
Guard: Dunstan Thorn, not again! Tristan: It's Tristan, actually. Guard: Oh. You do look a bit like your father. And I suppose you intend to cross the wall as well, do you? Well you can forget it - go home! Tristan: Cross the wall as well as who? Gua...
T-1000: Are you the legal guardian of John Connor? Todd Voight: That's right, Officer. What's he done now? T-1000: Could I speak with him please? Janelle Voight: You could if he were here. He just took off on his bike. So, he could be anywhere. T-100...
Roger: Here's a joke, boy. One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to shit, and lands in...
Flynn Rider: Let me just get this straight, I take you to see the lanterns, bring you back home, and you'll give me back my satchel? Rapunzel: I promise. [Flynn looks Rapunzel suspiciously] Rapunzel: And when I promise something, I never ever break t...
Immigration Officer: [to the Fat Lady] Have you brought any fruits or vegetables on the planet? Fat Lady: [with a big smile] Two weeks. Immigration Officer: Excuse me? Fat Lady: [ticcing with her mouth] Two weeks. Twooo weeeks! Wweeeoo... Richter: [w...
[after seeing Coughlin die, Doug - still wearing his BPD uniform - hops into one BPD cruiser parked nearby with its engine running. He closes the door and drives off. He parks in front of Fergie's shop, and enters, caught by a surveillance camera] Do...
[Doug picks up Claire, who gets in his truck] Doug MacRay: I should have come get your door for you, huh? What kinda guy lets you open the door... what? Claire Keesey: I... I have to get something out there. Otherwise I'll be pretending to listen to ...
Soap Opera Woman: Excuse me. Wiley: Excuse me. Soap Opera Woman: Hey. Could we do that again? I know we haven't met, but I don't want to be an ant. You know? I mean, it's like we go through life with our antennas bouncing off one another, continously...
Angelo: So who's your client, Mr. Detective-to-the-Stars? Chilly Willy? Or Screwy Squirrel? Dolores: What'll it be? Angelo: I'll have a beer, doll. So what happened, huh? Somebody kidnapped Dinky Doodle? Dolores: Cut it out, Angelo. Angelo: No, wait ...