Dodge Landon: Take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape! Caesar: NO! Rodney: [looks at Caesar while he pulls the tranq-gun back and softly] Oh, my God. Buck: [looks at Caesar and softly] Oh-oh-oh. Caesar: [grunts and looks at the other apes w...
Stanley Goodspeed: Listen, I think we got started off on the wrong foot.Stan Goodspeed, FBl. Uh - Let's talk music. Do you like the Elton John song, "Rocket Man"? Captain Darrow: I don't like soft-ass shit. Stanley Goodspeed: Oh, you - Oh, oh. Oh.Wel...
Nice Guy Eddie: The chick got tired of him beatin' her so one night she walks in the guys bedroom and super glues his dick to his belly. Ambulance came and had to cut the prick loose. Mr. White: Was he all pissed off? Nice Guy Eddie: How would you fe...
[Raymond is afraid of riding in a car on the freeway] Charlie: Hey Ray, I got a great idea. Stay in front of the car until we get off the exit, you'll get in and we'll take a not so dangerous road, whatever that might me. Is that an idea? Raymond: Ye...
Mr. McDougal: Well this is a pleasant surprise. I wasn't expecting another deposit until the end of the month. Michael Sullivan: Actually, I'm making a withdrawal. [Pulls his gun] Michael Sullivan: And I want dirty money only, everything you're holdi...
Chuck Yeager: Hey, Ridley, make another note here, would ya? Must be something wrong with this ol' Mach meter. Jumped plumb off the scale. Gone kinda screwy on me. Jack Ridley: You go ahead and bust it, we'll fix it. Personally, I think you're seein'...
Linguini: [to Remy] Okay, so let's think this out. You know how to cook, and I know how to... appear human. We just need to work out a system so that I do what you want, in a way that doesn't look like I'm being controlled by a tiny rat chef - oh wil...
Karl: I don't reckon you have to go with women to be a good daddy to a boy. You been real square-dealin' with me. The Bible says two men ought not lay together. But I don't reckon the Good Lord would send anybody like you to Hades. That Frank, he liv...
[after being smacked in the jaw by Jackie Boy] Bozo No. 1: [about Jackie Boy] He is generous. But that temper of his... you shouldn't have picked on him like you did. My temper, you don't have to worry about. Shellie: [grabs a knife and points it at ...
[Dwight has been pulled over by a policeman on a motorcycle, with Jackie-Boy slumped over dead in the passenger seat] Motorcycle Cop: Your buddy there... Partied a little too hard tonight? Dwight: [staring coldly at the cop] I'm the designated driver...
Cmdr. Deanna Troi: [very drunk] Look. He wouldn't even talk to me unless I had a drink with him. And then, it took three shots of something called "tequila" just to find out that HE was the one we're looking for! And I've spent the last twenty minute...
[as they approach Fiona's castle, Donkey smells the air] Donkey: Whoa, Shrek, did you do that? Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that, my mouth was open and everything! Shrek: Donkey, if that was me, you'd be dead! [sniffs] Shrek...
Captain von Trapp: Maria, there isn't going to be any Baroness anymore. Maria: I don't understand. Captain von Trapp: Well, we called off our engagement, you see, and... Maria: Oh, I'm sorry. Captain von Trapp: Yes. You are? Maria: Mm-hmm. You did? C...
Emily Posa: Do you wanna play a game? Ben Thomas: What game? Emily Posa: The "what if" game. Ben Thomas: The "what if" game. Emily Posa: What if... my pager goes off... and it's a heart... and... it works? And my body doesn't reject it? And... what i...
Fogell: Oh oh, I forgot to tell you: my mom said we could have the TV from the basement... Evan: Shut the fuck up, man. He's gonna hear you. Just be quiet; wait until he goes away. Fogell: You still haven't told him that we're rooming together? Evan:...
Andy Dufresne: I want to know, how the score comes out. Tommy Williams: I'll show you, how the score comes out [crumbles test paper] Tommy Williams: . TWO POINTS! THERE'S YOUR GODDAMN SCORE! Cats crawling on trees, five time five is twenty-five. [sho...
Henry Gondorff: What's your problem? Doyle Lonnegan: I'm putting half a million dollars on Lucky Dan to win, third race at Riverside Park. Henry Gondorff: Can't lay that off in time. A bet like that could break us. [Hooker stares at him incredulously...
[Secundus has just been murdered and has become a ghost, joining his other dead brothers] Secundus: [trying to laugh off his brothers' frosty stares] Oh, please, you're not annoyed at that whole murder thing, are you? I mean, that was ten years ago. ...
Travis Bickle: All the animals come out at night - whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. I go all over. I take people to the Bronx, Brookly...
Kate: I've been good to you, I've taken care of you. If you die, where does that leave me? Doc Holliday: Without a meal ticket I suppose. [Doc rides horse out of barn into stable area, Kate runs out after him punching him in anger] Kate: You bastard!...
Clarence Worley: I can't tell you... that was one of the best times I ever had. It was. But, you know, I knew something must be rotten in Denmark. There was no way you could like me that much. Man, I can't tell you how relieved I was when you took of...
