Margo: Hello? Cookies for sale! Gru: Go away, I'm not home! Margo: Uh, yes, you are. I heard you. Gru: No, you didn't. This... is a recording. Margo: [scoffs] No, it isn't. Gru: Yes, it is. Watch this. Leave a message. Beep! [Edith kicks the door, ca...
Dr. Nefario: [a minion drinks from a bottle, starts floating] We've been working on this for a while now. It's an Anti-gravity serum. [the minion floats out an open skylight] Dr. Nefario: I meant to close that. He'll be alright, I'm sure. Gru: Do the...
[Gru is showing Mr. Perkins his plans, using pictures on an easel] Gru: I fly to the moon, I shrink the moon, I grab the moon, I sit on the toi-let what? [sees a child's drawing in his plans, of himself sitting on a toilet, signed by Edith, the girls...
Rufus T. Firefly: Take a letter. Bob Roland: Who to? Rufus T. Firefly: To my dentist. [Roland writes out the following] Rufus T. Firefly: Uh... Dear dentist, enclosed find check for $500, yours very truly. Send that off immediately. Bob Roland: I'll,...
Rufus T. Firefly: Oh, uh, I suppose you would think me a sentimental old fluff, but, uh, would you mind giving me lock of your hair? Mrs. Teasdale: A lock of my hair? Wh-why, I had no idea. Rufus T. Firefly: I'm letting you off easy: I was going to a...
Billy Crash: [after Django attacks one of Candie's men, pulling him off his horse] Oh, you are one lucky nigger! Django: You better listen to your boss, white boy! Billy Crash: Oh, I'ma go walkin' in the moonlight with you! Django: You wanna hold my ...
Bill: So Edward, did you have a productive day? Edward: Mrs Monroe showed me where the salon's going to be. [turns to Peg] Edward: You could have a cosmetics counter. Peg Boggs: Oh, wouldn't that be great! Bill: Great. Edward: And then she showed me ...
Mordred: I've come to claim what is mine, Father. Arthur: Show yourself. [Mordred takes off his mask] Arthur: I cannot give you the land. Only my love. Mordred: That's the one thing of yours I don't want! The quest knights have failed. They're all de...
Rambo: There's one man dead! It's not my *fault*! I don't want anymore hurt! Teasle: Freeze! Stand right where you are! Give yourself up! Rambo: But I didn't do anything! Teasle: I'm warning you boy, don't make a move or I'll blow your head off! Ramb...
[Tyler and Jack stand in the bathroom doorway, watching Steph finish shaving off all of his hair. Tyler comes to give the top of Steph's head a sharp slap] Tyler Durden: Like a monkey, ready to be shot into space. Space monkey! Ready to sacrifice him...
Pfc. William T. Santiago: P.S. In exchange for my transfer off the base, I am willing to provide you with information about... Col. Jessep: [reading Pfc. Santiago's letter to the NIS] information about an illegal fence-line shooting that took place t...
Cameron: I don't know what I'm gonna do. Sloane: College. Cameron: Yeah, but to do what? Sloane: What are you interested in? Cameron: Nothing. Sloane: Me neither! Cameron: [to Ferris, who's singing on the parade float] YOU'RE CRAZY! Sloane: What do y...
[Cameron doesn't want to go out, but Ferris keeps calling] Cameron: He'll keep calling me, he'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is uh... This is ridiculous, ok I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. What - I'...
Cameron: Ferris, my father loves this car more than life itself. Ferris: A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile. [Ferris caresses the car in admiration] Cameron: No. No! Apparently, you don't understand! Ferr...
Ferris: Dad, all this talking has made me kinda light headed, I think I oughta lie down. Tom Bueller: Take a bath. Then wrap a hot towel around your head. Ferris: Wrap a hot towel around my head? Tom Bueller: And then make yourself some soup, get a n...
[Evelyn is cut off in a parking lot] Evelyn Couch: Hey! I was waiting for that spot! Girl #1: Face it, lady, we're younger and faster! [Evelyn rear-ends the other car six times] Girl #1: What are you *doing*? Girl #2: Are you *crazy*? Evelyn Couch: F...
[after Michael gets off the phone with Kay, clearly too embarrassed to tell her he loves her] Clemenza: Mikey, why don't you tell that nice girl you love her? I love you with all-a my heart, if I don't see-a you again soon, I'm-a gonna die.
Spider: [hesitating] Why don't you go fuck yourself, Tommy? Jimmy Conway: [stunned silence] Whoa! Can't believe what I just heard. Hey Spider, here. This is for you. [tosses money on the table] Jimmy Conway: Attaboy! I got respect for this kid. He's ...
Dr. Peter Venkman: [steps in front of Peck] My friend, don't be a jerk! Walter Peck: If he does that again, you can shoot him. Police Captain: You do your job, pencil neck, don't tell me how to do mine! Dr. Peter Venkman: Thank you, Officer. Walter P...
Male Student: [after the beautiful female student has guessed 5 out of 5 cards right while he has "none"; actually he has one] What are you trying to prove here, anyway? Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm studying the effects of negative reinforcement on ESP abi...
[alternate wording from cable TV version] Dr Ray Stantz: Your honor, our system was working just fine until the power grid was turned off by wally wick here. Walter Peck: They caused an explosion! Mayor: [to Venkman] Is this true? Dr. Peter Venkman: ...
