Mr. Ping: The secret ingredient is... nothing! Po: Huh? Mr. Ping: You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient. Po: Wait, wait... it's just plain old noodle soup? You don't add some kind of special sauce or something? Mr. Ping: Don't have to....
Valentine: You know what this is like? It's like those old movies we both love. Now I'm going to tell you my whole plan, and then I'm going to come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you, and you'll find an equally convoluted way to escap...
Giosué Orefice: Buttons and soap. Guido: What? Giosué Orefice: They turn us into buttons and soap. Guido: Who told you that? Giosué Orefice: An old man was crying. He said they turn us into buttons and soap. They burn us all up in ovens. Guido: Ho...
Simon Graham: [first lines] Simon Graham: [narrating] They say Japan was made by a sword. They say the old gods dipped a coral blade into the ocean, and when they pulled it out four perfect drops fell back into the sea, and those drops became the isl...
Father Horvak: What's confusing you this week? Frankie Dunn: Oh, it's the same old "one God-three God" thing. Father Horvak: Frankie, most people figure out by kindergarten it's about faith. Frankie Dunn: Is it sort of like Snap Crackle and Pop, all ...
Chow Mo-wan: In the old days, if someone had a secret they didn't want to share... you know what they did? Ah Ping: Have no idea. Chow Mo-wan: They went up a mountain, found a tree, carved a hole in it, and whispered the secret into the hole. Then th...
Mossad Accountant: In the operational funds box we will deposit 250,000 American dollars. You take it out - we put more in. I want receipts! [he slams his hand on his desk for emphasis] Mossad Accountant: You are not working for the Baron Rothschild!...
Satine: [sings] A kiss on the hand may be, quite continental, but diamonds are a girls best friend! A kiss may be grand but it, won't pay the rental on your humble flat, or help you feed your mmhm pussycat! Men grow cold as girls grow old, and we all...
Conrad "Con" Jarrett: It's impossible after all the shit I've pulled. Dr. Berger: What shit have you pulled? [pause] Dr. Berger: Hey, remember, I'm talking proportion here, now what shit? [pause] Dr. Berger: C'mon, you must be able to come up with at...
Pete: I've always wondered, what's the devil look like? Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, Pete, but the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork. Tommy Johnson:...
Princess Ann: I hate this nightgown. I hate all my nightgowns, and I hate all my underwear too. Countess: My dear, you have lovely things. Princess Ann: But I'm not two hundred years old. Why can't I sleep in pajamas? Countess: Pajamas? Princess Ann:...
Prince John: Hiss! You're never around when I need you! Hiss: Coming, coming. [begins singing 'For I'm a Jolly Good Fellow' until Prince John uncorks the barrel he's in] Hiss: Oh! there you are old boy! P.J., you're not going to believe this, but the...
Dr. Jerry Woolridge: I won't lie to you. He did get into that trouble a while ago, but then we has young. Bill Cox: I remember well. He cut those folks to pieces and his Mama was one of them. Scooter: And that old Dixon boy. Oh, hell, I always wanted...
Shaun: [looking behind Ed's shoulder at the old woman in the pub] All right, what about her, then? Ed: [looking back at her, then to Shaun] Ooooooh... cockacidal maniac. Ex-porn star. She's done it all. They say she starred in the world's first inter...
Gareth Mallory: There's a hearing at ten tomorrow. You're expected to attend. M: Attend in stocks? Who's old-fashioned now? Gareth Mallory: Oh, please! This is a democracy, we're responsible to the people we're supposed to defend! We can't walk in th...
Carlos: No one has ever picked me up and not wanted something. George: I think you picked me up. This is kind of a serious day for me. Carlos: Come on. What could be so serious for a guy like you? George: I'm just trying to get over an old love I gue...
Good Shopper Cashier: How old are you? Seth: ...22. Good Shopper Cashier: [looks skeptical for a second, then smiles] You certainly are! That'll be 80 dollars. Seth: Oh! Okay! [pulls money out of his sleeve] Seth: Pssha! Thank you kindly! Will that d...
Red: [narrating] Tommy Williams came to Shawshank in 1965 on a two-year stretch for B&E. That's breaking & entering to you. Cops caught him sneaking TV sets out the back door of a JC Penney. Young punk. Mr. Rock and Roll. Cocky as hell. Tommy William...
Governor Tarkin: The Imperial Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I have just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away forever. General Tagge: But that...
Baka: They use the old ones to do the work of greasing the stones, Lord Prince. If they are killed, it is no loss. Moses: Are you a master builder or a master butcher? Baka: If we stop moving stones for every grease woman who falls, the city would ne...
Moses: I'll not leave a man to die in the mud. Simon: Thank you, my son... but death is better than bondage, for my days are ended and my prayer unanswered. Moses: What prayer, old man? Simon: That before death closed my eyes, I might behold the deli...
