I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not a huge fan of repeating jokes, and I don't really do any of my old material from old stand-up acts.
Now that I’ve reached the ripe old age of retirement, I feel it my duty to teach you everything I’ve learnt about love, so listen closely. Love is like… That’s as far as I’ve gotten I’m afraid.
It is hard being a football loather, a football unfan. I sometimes feel as lonely as the sole survivor in the last reel of a Zombie film, as, one by one, old friends reveal themselves, with their glassy stares and outstretched arms, to have succumbed...
It's a shame about California, and particularly about L.A., where they've demolished so many landmarks. It's a bit of a disease there, where if anything is over 30 years old, they sort of knock it down and replace it. It's a strange town, it's this s...
I grew up on the old EC comic books before the Comics Code in North American and with all sort of good-natured fun. I never had nightmares I think because all of the old horror stuff that I was exposed to was well meaning in a certain sense.
Really, truly, try to figure out what your palate is all about. If you've determined that you don't like dirty old stinky wine - old-world flavors - you probably like new-world fruit bombs. Stick to Shirazes and California Cabernets or Zinfandels.
…is postmodernity the pastime of an old man who scrounges in the garbage-heap of finality looking for leftovers, who brandishes unconsciousnesses, lapses, limits, confines, goulags, parataxes, non-senses, or paradoxes, and who turns this into the g...
When I look at 'Napoleon Dynamite's style I'm reminded of how I spoke when I was an eight-year-old boy. It was just like capturing the essence of, 'Duh!' It was just like the stuff that I would say when I was like eight, nine, ten years old.
The Cemetery of Forgotten Books is like the greatest, most fantastic library you could ever imagine. It's a labyrinth of books with tunnels, bridges, arches, secret sections - and it's hidden inside an old palace in the old city of Barcelona.
The very first time I ever heard anything of mine on the radio, I was in New Jersey, and I was in my teens. I did my first record, which was an old standard called 'My Mother's Eyes.' It was the old Georgie Jessel theme. I heard it on local radio out...
Ralphie: Hey Dad! I'll bet you'll never guess what I got you for Christmas. The Old Man: A new furnace. Ralphie: Ha ha! That's a good one, Dad! [Randy laughs]
[4-year-old Joel watches his mother leave the room] 4-Year-Old Joel: I really want her to pick me up. It's amazing how strong that desire is.
Old Sophie: I wonder what Howl disguised himself as? Surely not a crow. Can't be a pigeon, he's too flamboyant for that. [a glider plane with a giggling young woman and her lover flies overhead] Old Sophie: That could be him.
[the old lady tries to thank him for everything, but Bob shushes her] Bob: [shouts loudly] I'm sorry ma'am, I know you're upset. [very softly] Bob: Pretend to be upset. [old lady starts sobbing very convincingly]
Llewelyn Moss: If I don't come back, tell mother I love her. Carla Jean Moss: Your mother's dead, Llewelyn. Llewelyn Moss: Well then I'll tell her myself.
Wendell: [referring to the dead bodies in the desert] How come you reckon the coyotes ain't been at them? Ed Tom Bell: I don't know. Supposedly, a coyote won't eat a Mexican.
Ed Tom Bell: How many of those things you got now? Ellis: Cats? Several. Well, depends what you mean by got. Some are half-wild, and some are just outlaws.
Llewelyn Moss: Yeah, I'm going to bring you something, alright. I decided to make you a special project of mine. You ain't going have to come looking for me at all. [Moss hangs up the phone]
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: What in the hell happened back there? Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90-pound girl 'cause... I don't think that's ever getting old.
I started, actually, in journalism when I was - well. I started at the 'New York Times' when I was 18 years old, actually, but really got into journalism when I was 15 years old and had started a sports magazine which was trying to become a national ...
We're living in a whole new social and economic order with a whole new set of problems and challenges. Old assumptions and old programs don't work in this new society and the more we try to stretch them to make them fit, the more we will be seen as r...
