One day, the old wise Socrates walks down the streets, when all of the sudden a man runs up to him "Socrates I have to tell you something about your friend who..." "Hold up" Socrates interrupts him "About the story you're about to tell me, did you pu...
if everything happens that can't be done (and anything's righter than books could plan) the stupidest teacher will almost guess (with a run skip around we go yes) there's nothing as something as one one hasn't a why or because or although (and buds k...
Isn’t it so weird how the number of dead people is increasing even though the earth stays the same size, so that one day there isn’t going to be room to bury anyone anymore? For my ninth birthday last year, Grandma gave me a subscription to Natio...
I got tired, I told him. Not worn out, but worn through. Like one of those wives who wakes up one morning and says I can't bake any more bread. You never bake bread, he wrote, and we were still joking. Then it's like I woke up and baked bread, I said...
Andrew Young: Hey, what you need guns for? Angry Marcher: The Bible says, an eye for an eye, reverend. Andrew Young: Yeah? Angry Marcher: I'm sick of this shit! Andrew Young: How many guns you think they got down there? That's an entire army down the...
Sally: I saw a film the other day about syphilis. Ugh! It was too awful. I couldn't let a man touch me for a week. Is it true you can get it from kissing? Fritz: Oh, yes. And your king, Henry VIII, got it from Cardinal Wolsey whispering in his ear. N...
The Joker: I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself. Look what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Hmmm? You know... You know what I've noticed? Nobody panics when things go "accordi...
Manny Cussins: I hired you to do this job because I think you're the best young manager in this country. Brian Clough: Thank you. I'm the best old one, too. Manny Cussins: I also did it under the assumption that you would be coming here wanting the b...
Gen. Yevgraf Zhivago: I told myself it was beneath my dignity to arrest a man for pilfering firewood. But nothing ordered by the party is beneath the dignity of any man, and the party was right: One man desperate for a bit of fuel is pathetic. Five m...
Henry Hill: You know, we always called each other good fellas. Like you said to, uh, somebody, :You're gonna like this guy. He's all right. He's a good fella. He's one of us.: You understand? We were good fellas. Wiseguys. But Jimmy and I could never...
Sgt. Pete Karelsen: I'm getting sick and tired watching you being a stooge for Holmes. Sergeant Milton Warden: You won't see it much longer. I'm getting sick and tired of it myself. I'm through, Pete. Any day now. And I mean it. Sgt. Pete Karelsen: [...
Old Bilbo: The first they heard was a noise like a hurricane coming down from the North. The pines on the mountain creaked and cracked in the hot, dry wind. It was a fire-drake from the North. Smaug had come! Such wanton death was dealt that day, for...
Albus Dumbledore: [after Harry confusedly finishes viewing a memory from Dumbledore's pensieve] Confused? I'd be surprised if you weren't. Harry Potter: Well, I don't understand. What happened? Albus Dumbledore: This is perhaps the most important mem...
Mr. Potter: [to George Bailey] Look at you. You used to be so cocky. You were going to go out and conquer the world. You once called me a warped, frustrated, old man! What are you but a warped, frustrated young man? A miserable little clerk crawling ...
Dad: [Trying to feed Riley broccoli] Here we go. All right, open. Joy: Hmm... this looks new. Fear: 'Think its safe? Sadness: What is it? Disgust: Okay, caution, there is a dangerous smell people. Hold on, what is that? That is not brightly colored o...
Sing: All right. Now, we will sneak attack and take out that old lady. [throws knife, knife richchets off overhang and gets Sing in his right shoulder] Sing: Erg... Well, I'll let you try one. [stands beside sidekick] Sing's Sidekick: [takes knife, a...
Frodo: [voiceover] And thus it was. A fourth age of middle-earth began. And the fellowship of the ring... though eternally bound by friendship and love... was ended. Thirteen months to the day since Gandalf sent us on our long journey... we found our...
Denethor: [to Faramir, about his loyalty] Ever you desire to appear lordly and gracious as a king of old. Boromir would have remembered his father's need. He would have brought me a kingly gift. Faramir: Boromir would not have brought the Ring. He wo...
Mary Poppins: [singing] Early each day to the steps of St. Paul's, the little old bird woman comes... In her own special way to the people she calls, come buy my bags full of crumbs. Come feed the little birds, show them you care, and you'll be glad ...
Lund: Now, what can I do you for Mr. French? French: How can I lay a hold of them Soggy Bottom Boys? Lund: Soggy Bottom? I don't precisely recollect them. French: They cut a record in here a few days ago, was an old-timey harmony thing with a guitar ...
Count Rugen: [admiring his torture contraption] Beautiful isn't it? It took me half a lifetime to invent it. I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. Presently I'm writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to b...
