Don’t be afraid to do weird stuff, so long as you do it cheaply and cover everyone’s bets. Be bold. Be stupid, if you have to: so long as you don’t hurt anybody, what’s it matter how dopey your dream is? If I hadn’t made TUSK? If I’d let ...
Observation: Thanks to technological advances, avid readers seem to be replacing DTBAD (Dead Tree Book Acquisition Disorder) with an alphabet soup of more more modern-day hoarding behaviors: EBAD (E-Book Acquistion Disorder), EGAD (Electronic Gadget ...
In that six months, so much happened that death seemed, primarily, inconvenient. The trial period was extended. I seem to keep extending it. There are many things to do. There are books to write and naps to take. There are movies to see and scrambled...
How promising today's generation is. They can whip out their cellular phones like sheep, instantly take a million digital photos of their cat and then just delete them. But I'd like to see these kids try to artfully use a traditional film camera or m...
You and your scars. Please! You don't kill youself like this!" I gesture, holding a wrist turned up to the ceiling, then pretending to cut across it with my other hand. "That's just a cry for help. That's just attention. Everbody knows that. Cutting ...
There is a scene in one of the Rocky movies where after the match Apollo Creed and Rocky are waiting for the scoring of their brawl all beat up and battered, obviously both fighters gave all they had to win, and Apollo Creed says to Rocky - "Your not...
It's my conceit that perhaps some diseases perceived as diseases that destroy a well-functioning machine actually turn it into a new but still well-functioning machine with a different purpose. The AIDS virus: look at it from its point of view. Very ...
The best stories (whether book or movie) involve redemption. If you are someone who believes you have made too many mistakes or your life has been too "bad" for God to want you, think of it this way: God, the greatest story teller, has not yet finish...
Lydia: Are you the guys hiding out in the attic? Adam: We're ghosts! Lydia: What do you look like under there? Adam: Aren't you scared? Lydia: I'm not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? Are you Night of the Living Dead under there? Like all...
Private Joker: Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me? Private Cowboy: Hey, start the cameras. This is "Vietnam - the Movie." Private Eightball: Yeah, Joker can be John Wayne. I'll be a horse. Donlon: T.H.E. Rock can be a rock. T.H.E. Rock: I'll be Ann-...
Todd: What do you think, Katie? Katie Deauxma: I don't know. But I think Kick-Ass is cuter. Dave Lizewski: You do? Katie Deauxma: Oh yeah. I'd totally fuck his brains out if I got the chance. Dave Lizewski: Really? You would? Katie Deauxma: Definitel...
Linus Larrabee: A new product has been found, something of use to the world, so a new industry moves into an undeveloped area. Factories go up, machines are brought in, a harbor is dug, and you're in business. It's purely coincidental of course that ...
[first lines] Gené: Relax. You're feeling calmer and calmer. Now imagine a movie screen, opening before you. On it, imagine your favorite place. Concentrate on your breathing, allowing your whole body to relax, to feel at peace. Keep it going. Just ...
[all hyped and ready after singing a song] Stan: Can I have FIVE tickets to Terence Phillip: Asses on Fire, please? [pause] Ticket Taker: No! Stan: What do you mean no? Ticket Taker: Terrance and Philip: Asses of Fire has been rated R by the Motion P...
[In the beginning of the movie, Rex just lost a Buzz Lightyear vs. Emperor Zurg game, right when nearly winning] Rex: No, no, no, no. Buzz Lightyear: Oh, you almost had him. Rex: I'm never gonna defeat Zurg! Buzz Lightyear: Sure, you will, Rex. In fa...
Real Harvey: [the real Harvey Pekar introduces his on-screen character] OK. This guy here, he's our man, all grown up and going nowhere. Although he's a pretty scholarly cat, he never got much of a formal education. For the most part, he's lived in s...
[just before they start filming Dirk's first movie] Dirk: Does he want me to keep going until I come? Amber Waves: Yeah. You just come when you're ready. Dirk: Where should I come? Amber Waves: Where do you want? Dirk: Wherever you tell me. Amber Wav...
As I sit here on a snowy morning watching the flakes gently fall outside my window, I look at the 300-year-old building across the street and the beautifully carved angels on its facade. There was a time people would create, just to give something be...
Ladies and Gentlemen, I stand before you now because I never stopped dawdling like an eight-year-old on a spring morning on his way to school. Anything can make me stop and look and wonder, and sometimes learn. I am a very happy man. Thank you. - Dr....
The posters bore the words WITH THE PASSING YEARS COMES...IMPOTENCE! Magnus found himself staring at the posters with a sort of absent horror. He looked at Alec and found that Alec could not tear his eyes away either. He wondered if Alec was aware th...
Love blurs your vision; but after it recedes, you can see more clearly than ever. It's like the tide going out, revealing whatever's been thrown away and sunk: broken bottles, old gloves, rusting pop cans, nibbled fishbodies, bones. This is the kind ...
