Andre Baptiste Sr.: [about his child soldiers] I can see what you are thinking. But we need every man we can get. Yuri Orlov: Even if they're not men? Andre Baptiste Sr.: A bullet from a 14-year-old is just as effective as one from a 40-year-old. Oft...
Hawkeye Pierce: All right! I demand an explanation. Hawkeye Pierce: Someone get that dirty old man out of this operating theater. Col. Wallace C. Merril: [taken aback] Dirty old man? I'm Colonel Merrill. Hawkeye Pierce: I don't care if you're Jack Ar...
[D.A. Trotter is making his preliminary remarks to the jury] D.A. Jim Trotter: You're the jury. It's your job to decide who's telling the truth. Truth. That's what 'verdict' means. It's a word comes down from Old England and all our little old ancest...
Ed Tom Bell: Now that's aggravatin'. Wendell: Sheriff? Ed Tom Bell: [points to a bottle of milk] Still sweatin'. Wendell: Whoa, Sheriff! We just missed him! We gotta circulate this! On Radio! Ed Tom Bell: Alright. What we circulate? Lookin' for a man...
Boot Salesman: [Moss walks in wearing his hospital robe] How those Larry's holdin' up? Llewelyn Moss: Uh, oh, good. Good! I need everything else. Boot Salesman: OK. Llewelyn Moss: Lotta people come in here without any clothes on? Boot Salesman: No si...
Sheriff of Nottingham: Criminently, Trigger! Point that peashooter the other way. Trigger: Don't you worry none, Sheriff. The safety's on Old Betsy. [Old Betsy goes off] Sheriff of Nottingham: What in tarnation you tryin' to do, you birdbrain? Trigge...
Moses: Would you bury the old woman alive in a tomb of rock? Yochabel: Wise and noble One, It caught. I have not the strength to free myself. Moses: Your shoulders should not bear a burden, old woman. Yochabel: The Lord has renewed my strength and li...
[last lines] Mattie Ross: Trust you to buy another tall horse. Rooster Cogburn: Yeah. He's not as game as Beau, but Stonehill says he can jump a four rail fence. Mattie Ross: You are too old and fat to be jumping horses. Rooster Cogburn: Well, come s...
[Jack is teaching Rose how to spit] Rose: Mother! May I introduce Jack Dawson? Ruth: Charmed, I'm sure. [Old Rose, voice in off] Old Rose: The others were gracious and curious about the man who had saved my life. But my mother looked at him like an i...
Wendy: Why won't you let him run? Warren: Hey he's too old and his bike's too old. Ali: Well I hear he's come halfway around the world to ride that cycle. Wendy: Yeah, c'mon. Warren: Wendy, if he was to kill himself. Wendy: So! It's his life.
[Alvy questions an old man on the street about his sex life] Alvy Singer: With your wife in bed, does she need some kind of artificial stimulation, like, like marijuana? Old man on street: We use a large vibrating egg. Alvy Singer: [walking away] Wel...
Police Sgt. Brophy: Look, Sergeant, I promised ya I wouldn't swear but what the he - [stops, noticing the Reverend] Police Sgt. Brophy: What's goin' on here anyway? Reverend Harper: Oh, he's quite harmless. Police Sgt. Brophy: Thinks he's Teddy Roose...
Mortimer Brewster: Look, you can't do things like that! Now, I don't know how I can explain this to you. But, it's not only against the law, its wrong! Martha Brewster: Oh, piffle! Mortimer Brewster: It's not a nice thing to do. People wouldn't under...
Jonathan Brewster: Perhaps we'd better introduce ourselves. May I present Dr. Einstein. Elaine Harper: Dr. Einstein? Jonathan Brewster: A surgeon of great distinction... and something of a magician. Elaine Harper: Now, I suppose you're going to tell ...
[to Mortimer] Elaine Harper: We were married today. We were going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Your brother tries to kill me. A taxi is waiting and now you want to sleep on a window seat. You can take the honeymoon, your wedding ring, your taxi, y...
Mortimer Brewster: Now look, darling, how did he die? Abby Brewster: Oh, Mortimer, don't be so inquisitive. The gentleman died because he drank some wine with poison in it. Mortimer Brewster: Well, how did the poison get in the wine? Martha Brewster:...
Teddy Brewster: Gentlemen, what news have you brought me? Police Sgt. Brophy: [salutes] Colonel, we have nothing to report. Officer Patrick O'Hara: Huh? [Brophy elbows him and he salutes also] Officer Patrick O'Hara: Oh, no! Absolutely nothing to rep...
Alice: [as a giant] And as for you... Your Majesty! Your Majesty indeed! Why, you're not a queen, [shrinking] Alice: But just a - a fat, pompous, bad tempered old ty...! [normal size] Alice: Tyrant. Queen of Hearts: [giggles] And uh, just what were y...
Doc: And in the future, we don't need horses. We have motorized carriages called automobiles. Saloon Old Timer #3: If everybody's got one of these auto-whatsits, does anybody walk or run anymore? Doc: Of course we run. But for recreation. For fun. Sa...
I used to feel for years and years and years that I was very remiss not to have written a novel and I would question people who wrote novels and try to find out how they did it and how they had got past page 30. Then, with the approach of old age, I ...
An old Cherokee told his grandson, 'My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, em...
