In general, people are not drawn to perfection in others. People are drawn to shared interests, shared problems, and an individual's life energy. Humans connect with humans. Hiding one's humanity and trying to project an image of perfection makes a p...
Tobin," Mom said disapprovingly. She wasn't a particularly funny person. It suited her professionally - I mean, you don't want your cancer surgeon to walk into the examination room and be like, "Guy walks into a bar. Bartender says, 'What'll ya have?...
What you are to me is the guy that I’ve been madly in love with since sixth grade. You’re the guy I think about every night when I’m in bed by myself. You’re the one who doesn’t want me but insists on keeping me tied so close that I can’t...
Love isn’t stackable and interlocking, like boxes or Legos. Love is like a one-legged man standing on a three-legged chair that is placed on top of a two-legged piano. I should know, because I’m the guy trying to tune that piano, fix that chair, ...
I had this whole plan when I graduated high school: I was going to go to college, date a few guys, and then meet THE guy at the end of my freshman year, maybe at the beginning of my sophomore year. We'd be engaged by graduation and married the next y...
Fantasy imposes order on the universe. Or, at least, it superimposes order on the universe. And it is a human order. Reality tells us that we exist for a brief, beleaguered span in a cold infinity; fantasy tells us that the figures in the foreground ...
When you’re telling a story, you’re trying to connect to people in a particular way … The way in which you guys have inhabited this world, this universe, has made you part of it, part of the story. You are living in Firefly. When I see you guys...
See, being a person is kind of random and arbitrary business. You may have noticed that. And you need to believe in something to keep it from being too random and arbitrary to handle. Some people take religion, or success, or patriotism, or family, b...
You're not scared to do the right thing, even when it's harder. Like telling Mr. Weedin when he had copied that problem wrong. Or calling me out when you thought I was being homophobic. And I respect that, Alek. You've got character. That's something...
Vern: Do you think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman? Teddy: What are you, cracked? Vern: Why not? I saw the other day. He was carrying five elephants in one hand! Teddy: Boy, you don't know nothing! Mighty Mouse is a cartoon. Superman's a real guy...
[the boys are having trouble designing how to get across the river] Teddy: Okay, you guys can go around if you want. I'm crossing here. And while you guys are dragging your candy asses half way across the state and back, I'll be waiting on the other ...
Vern: You think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman? Teddy: What are you cracked? Vern: Why not? I saw the other day, he was carrying 5 elephants in one hand. Teddy: Boy, you don't know nothin', Mighty Mouse is a cartoon, Superman is a real guy, no w...
Felix: What do you think? Max: I think... [Max sees one of Felix's bodyguard draw his gun out] Max: I think you should you should tell that guy behind me to put his gun down. Felix: What? Max: I said I think you should tell that guy behind me to put ...
Solange: [they are kissing on the floor of his beachfront suite] You like married women... don't you, James? James Bond: It keeps things simple. Solange: [laughs] What is it about bad men? You... my husband. I had so many chances to be happy, so many...
Happy: [after cracking open the bank's safe] They wired this thing up with, like, 5,000 volts. What kind of bank does that? Grumpy: A mob bank. I guess the Joker is as crazy as they say. Where's the alarm guy? Happy: Boss told me, when the guy was do...
Fred Weasley: Nice try Harry, but not good enough Harry: Come on guys, I'm trying to get to Hogsmeade Fred Weasley, George Weasley: We know George Weasley: If you'll stop squirming, we have a better way... Harry: Guys, come on... Fred Weasley: Awwh,...
Alan Garner: Guys. Guys. What about the tiger? What if he got out? Phil Wenneck: Oh, fuck! I keep forgetting about the goddamn tiger! How the fuck did he get in there? Stu Price: I don't know, because I don't remember. Phil Wenneck: Shh! Stu. Stu, ke...
Anne Kronenberg: My girlfriend says you guys don't like women, I'm just asking: Is there a place for us in all this, or are you guys all scared of girls? Harvey Milk: Okay, gentlemen: We've already got a tinkerbell, a lotus blossom, we've got Jim and...
Peter Brand: Billy, this is Chad Bradford. He's a relief pitcher. He is one of the most undervalued players in baseball. His defect is that he throws funny. Nobody in the big leagues cares about him, because he looks funny. This guy could be not just...
Little John: You know somethin', Robin. I was just wonderin', are we good guys or bad guys? You know, I mean, uh? Our robbin' the rich to feed the poor. Robin Hood: Rob? Tsk tsk tsk. That's a naughty word. We never rob. We just sort of borrow a bit f...
Even Bigger Black Guy: I mean you beatin' 10 cops? You putting a man in the hospital? How come I don't see no bruises on you? Big Black Guy: Yeah! Billy Ray Valentine: 'Cause I'm a karate man! And a karate man bruises on the inside! They don't show t...
