I always wanted to be a comedic actor - that's what I wanted from the job - to do comedy and to create my own comedy. But I still love doing stand-up and will probably be doing it forever. I'd love to be an old guy who can't really walk, can't really...
I think a lot of kids get scared by 'E.T.' Sometimes when I do the science-fiction conventions, I'll have a 35-year-old guy with tatts and piercings all over, and he comes up and says, 'You know, it scared me so much I still can't watch it.'
Most men, no matter how well or badly dressed, carry overstuffed, beat up wallets that should have been replaced years ago. Why is that? Every time I see a guy take out a wallet anywhere, it looks like a piece of old melted chocolate cake-with string...
When I have a difficult decision to make, I imagine myself as a 90-year-old guy looking back on his life. I imagine what I'll think about myself at that point in time, and it always makes it really easy to go for it. You're only going to regret that ...
Could I have worked under a system where there were Draconian controls on my creativity, meaning budget, time, script choices, etc.? Definitely not. I would have fared poorly under the old studio system that guys like Howard Hawks did so well in. I c...
Vinny: You know, Louie, there's one good thing about this Ghost Dog guy. Louie: What's that, Vin? Vinny: He's sending us out the old way. Like real fucking gangsters.
Pvt. Cowboy: God almighty, you guys smell like you fell into a dung heap! Crapgame: Kinda makes ya homesick, don't it? Pvt. Willard: [to Pvt. Cowboy] You know it does, kinda ,don't it old buddy?
How can I intimidate Tiger Woods? I mean, the guy's got 75 or whatever PGA Tour wins, 14 majors. He's been the biggest thing ever in our sport. How could some little 23-year-old from Northern Ireland with a few wins come up and intimidate him.
Marty McFly: [heads for a door then stops] Oh. One other thing. If you guys ever have kids, and one of them, when he's eight years old, accidentally sets fire to the living room rug... go easy on him.
When I was on the radio, I used to be able to go a lot farther than I can now. You don't really remember until you're on the radio again, sometimes in your old radio station and sitting with the guys you used to work with and you go, 'Oh yeah, I can'...
You know, the blond guy plays the good guy and I play the bad part, the bad guys. Which is a lot of fun. Playing the bad guy is great. And it's the whole British thing. You know, in so many films the bad guy is British. Gary Oldman makes a living doi...
Mitt Romney is a nice guy. But, we know where nice guys finish in politics.
I see these guys, they throw a guy into the ropes and they do a back flip and then clothesline the guy and it looks stupid. Why don't you just clothesline the guy?
I'm a good guy. I love playing bad guys, but good guys that have a good thing going on, I like that, too. I don't like passive good guys.
The older I get the more I realize there's no real good guys or real bad guys, and I'm curious about how the good guys got good and how the bad guys got bad.
One guy records the voices, another guy times the storyboard, another guy times the sheets, one guy is the story editor. All these jobs should be covered by the director.
They sped by a pack of sea lions lounging on the docks, and she swore she saw an old homeless guy sitting among them. From across the water the old man pointed a bony finger at Percy and mouthed something like 'Don't even think about it.' "Did you se...
The only reason I'm ever in character as 'Larry The Cable Guy' is because that's what I'm hired to do. In my movies, obviously they hired 'Larry The Cable Guy' to be 'Larry The Cable Guy.' When I do my shows, I'm 'Larry The Cable Guy.' When I do Jay ...
This is unbelievable,” James said. “I mean, you guys are out here planning to build an armored car out of my dad’s old, and I mean old, car. Mom is in the house making cookies like this is just an everyday occurrence. Once this starts, you guys...
There are old men of three years old and children of a hundred.
I love everything that is old; old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines.
