Maude: [Maude is driving Harold's hearse through a cemetery] Hey, this old thing handles well! Ever drive a hearse Harold? Harold: Yeah. Maude: Well! It's a new experience for me! [the hearse is seen squealing through a curve] Maude: Good on curves! ...
Bilbo Baggins: I did not come to steal from you, O Smaug the Unassessably Wealthy. I merely wanted to gaze upon your magnificence, to see if you really were as great as the old tales say. I did not believe them. Smaug: [strikes a pose] And do you, NO...
[about Jimmy Chitwood] Myra Fleener: You know, a basketball hero around here is treated like a god, er, uh, how can he ever find out what he can really do? I don't want this to be the high point of his life. I've seen them, the real sad ones. They si...
Mal: We'd be together forever. You promised me. Cobb: I know. But we can't. And I'm sorry. Mal: You remember when you asked me to marry you? You said you dreamt that we'd grow old together. Cobb: But we did. We did. You don't remember?... I miss you ...
Lucius: What are we doing here, Bob? Bob: We're protecting people. Lucius: Nobody asked us. Bob: You need an invitation? Lucius: I'd like one, yes. We keep sneaking around, and... You remember Gazer Beam? Bob: Yeah, there was something about him in t...
Matthias: [Answering the summons of the door] My legs are old and bent, my ears are grizzled, yes? Centurion: There's one place we didn't look. Guards! [the guards troop into the house] Matthias: ...Nose is knackered. Centurion: Have you ever seen an...
Capt. Colin Maud: [walking up to a stalled vehicle] My old grandmother used to say anything mechanical, give it a good bashing. [Hits hood with his swagger stick] Capt. Colin Maud: Try it now. [vehicle cranks] Private Flanagan: [to Clough] Sure, now;...
Bilbo: Tell me again, lad... where are we going? Frodo: To the harbor, Bilbo. The elves have accorded you a special honor; a place on the last ship to leave Middle Earth. Bilbo: Frodo... Any chance of seeing that old ring again? Hmm? The one I gave y...
Oskar: How old are you? Eli: Twelve... more or less. Eli: What about you? Oskar: Twelve years, eight months and nine days. What do you mean, "more or less"? Oskar: When's your birthday? Eli: I don't know. Oskar: Don't you celebrate your birthday? You...
Mr. Goodkat: [his first lines] There was a time. Nick: [groggily looks at his watch] 4:35. Mr. Goodkat: You misunderstood. I wasn't asking for the time, I was just saying... there was a time. Nick: There was a time? Mr. Goodkat: Mmm-hmm. Take Brown S...
Ebenezer Scrooge: What right have you to be merry? You're poor enough. Fred: What right have you to be dismal? You're rich enough. Rizzo the Rat: He's got 'im there. The old boy's speechless! Ebenezer Scrooge: If I could work my will, every idiot who...
Gonzo: He was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scr... [noticing the smudged window of Scrooge's office] Gonzo: Boy, this really *is* a dirty city! Rizzo the Rat: Heh, you're tellin' me! [Gonzo grabs Rizzo and uses him to wipe off the window pan...
Professor Henry Higgins: You might marry, you know. You see, Eliza, all men are not confirmed old bachelors like myself and the Colonel. Most men are the marrying sort, poor devils. And you're not bad-looking; you're really quite a pleasure to look a...
Max Jerry Horovitz: I was born Jewish and used to believe in God but I've since read many books that have proven God is just a figment of my imagination. People like to believe in God 'cause it answers difficult questions, like where did the universe...
[first lines] Voice of Adso as an Old Man: Having reached the end of my poor sinner's life, my hair now white, I prepare to leave on this parchment my testimony as to the wondrous and terrible events that I witnessed in my youth, towards the end of t...
Del: When I'm dead and buried, all I'll leave behind are some shower curtain rings that didn't fall down. Some legacy, huh? Neal: At the very least, the absolute minimum, you'll have a woman you love to grow old with. You love her, don't you? Del: Lo...
Buttercup: Oh, Wesley, will you ever forgive me? Westley: What hideous sin have you committed lately? Buttercup: I got married. I didn't want to - it all happened so fast. Westley: Never happened. Buttercup: What? Westley: Never happened. Buttercup: ...
Murtogg: What we doin' 'ere? Mullroy: The pirates come out, unprepared and unawares. We catch 'em in a crossfire... send 'em down to see Old Hob. Murtogg: I know *why* we're here. I mean, why aren't we doin' what - what Mr. Sparrow said? With the can...
Anna: When I was little, we found a man. He looked like - like, butchered. The old woman in the village crossed themselves... and whispered crazy things, strange things. "El Diablo cazador de hombres." Only in the hottest years this happens. And this...
Macaulay Connor: What's this? Is it my book? C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes. Macaulay Connor: C. K. Dexter Haven you have unsuspected depth! C. K. Dexter Haven: Thanks, old chap. Macaulay Connor: But have you read it? C. K. Dexter Haven: When I was trying t...
Hidetora: What madness have I spoken? Wherein lies my senility? Saburo Naotora Ichimonji: I'll tell you. What kind of world do we live in? One barren of loyalty and feeling. Hidetora: I'm aware of that. Saburo Naotora Ichimonji: So you should be! You...