Kate McCallister: I have been awake for almost 60 hours. I'm tired and I'm dirty. I have been from Chicago to Paris to Dallas to... where the hell am I? Scranton Ticket Agent: Scranton. Kate McCallister: [finally letting her aggravation out] I am try...
Kate McCallister: [about Kevin] He was in the garage again playing with the glue gun. Peter McCallister: Didn't we talk about that? Kevin McCallister: Did I burn down the joint? I don't think so. I was making ornaments out of fish hooks. Peter McCall...
Joyce Cooper: Fascist! Nicholas Angel: I beg your pardon? Joyce Cooper: [doing a crossword puzzle] System of government categorized by extreme dictatorship. Seven across. Nicholas Angel: Actually that's fascism. Joyce Cooper: Fascism! Wonderful. Nich...
Grandfather: Look, I thought I was supposed to be getting a change of scenery. But so far, I've been in a train and a room, and a car and a room, and a room and a room. Well, maybe that's all right for a bunch of powdered gee-gahs like yourselves, bu...
Thorin Oakenshield: Here! You witless worm! Smaug: YOU! Thorin Oakenshield: I'm taking back what you stole. Smaug: You will take NOTHING from me, dwarf. I laid low your warriors of old. I instilled terror in the hearts of men. I AM KING UNDER THE MOU...
Louis: Then out of curiosity, boredom, who knows what, I left the old world and came back to my America. And there, a mechanical wonder allowed me to see the sun rise for the first time in two hundred years. And what sunrises, seen as the human eye c...
George Bailey: [the staff celebrates closing the building and loan company with only two dollars remaining, to stay in business] Get a tray for these two great big important simoleans here. Uncle Billy: We'll save 'em for seed. George Bailey: A toast...
Philippe: [Driss shaves François beard turning into a weird mustache] Oh, it's awful. [moments later, it's turned into a old-fashioned mustache] Philippe: I look like my grandpa. Driss: Okay. Let me shave the rest off. Philippe: [François now has a...
The Bride: What are you doing here? Bill: What am I doing? A moment ago, I was playin' my flute. But this moment, I'm looking at the most beautiful bride these old eyes have ever seen. The Bride: Why are you here? Bill: Last look. The Bride: Are you ...
Mr. Ping: The secret ingredient is... nothing! Po: Huh? Mr. Ping: You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient. Po: Wait, wait... it's just plain old noodle soup? You don't add some kind of special sauce or something? Mr. Ping: Don't have to....
Valentine: You know what this is like? It's like those old movies we both love. Now I'm going to tell you my whole plan, and then I'm going to come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you, and you'll find an equally convoluted way to escap...
Giosué Orefice: Buttons and soap. Guido: What? Giosué Orefice: They turn us into buttons and soap. Guido: Who told you that? Giosué Orefice: An old man was crying. He said they turn us into buttons and soap. They burn us all up in ovens. Guido: Ho...
Simon Graham: [first lines] Simon Graham: [narrating] They say Japan was made by a sword. They say the old gods dipped a coral blade into the ocean, and when they pulled it out four perfect drops fell back into the sea, and those drops became the isl...
Father Horvak: What's confusing you this week? Frankie Dunn: Oh, it's the same old "one God-three God" thing. Father Horvak: Frankie, most people figure out by kindergarten it's about faith. Frankie Dunn: Is it sort of like Snap Crackle and Pop, all ...
Chow Mo-wan: In the old days, if someone had a secret they didn't want to share... you know what they did? Ah Ping: Have no idea. Chow Mo-wan: They went up a mountain, found a tree, carved a hole in it, and whispered the secret into the hole. Then th...
Mossad Accountant: In the operational funds box we will deposit 250,000 American dollars. You take it out - we put more in. I want receipts! [he slams his hand on his desk for emphasis] Mossad Accountant: You are not working for the Baron Rothschild!...
Conrad "Con" Jarrett: It's impossible after all the shit I've pulled. Dr. Berger: What shit have you pulled? [pause] Dr. Berger: Hey, remember, I'm talking proportion here, now what shit? [pause] Dr. Berger: C'mon, you must be able to come up with at...
Pete: I've always wondered, what's the devil look like? Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, Pete, but the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork. Tommy Johnson:...
Princess Ann: I hate this nightgown. I hate all my nightgowns, and I hate all my underwear too. Countess: My dear, you have lovely things. Princess Ann: But I'm not two hundred years old. Why can't I sleep in pajamas? Countess: Pajamas? Princess Ann:...
Prince John: Hiss! You're never around when I need you! Hiss: Coming, coming. [begins singing 'For I'm a Jolly Good Fellow' until Prince John uncorks the barrel he's in] Hiss: Oh! there you are old boy! P.J., you're not going to believe this, but the...
Dr. Jerry Woolridge: I won't lie to you. He did get into that trouble a while ago, but then we has young. Bill Cox: I remember well. He cut those folks to pieces and his Mama was one of them. Scooter: And that old Dixon boy. Oh, hell, I always wanted...
