Quotes of: Old-books Keyword

The only questions I’ll ask my clone, are ones in which I already know the answer. This is the path to self-discovery.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Dear Ian, I felt good. I felt like a Christian to the T. Also to the Chris, Ian.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Her name is Angela, though she’s no angel. Dad, I can’t believe she replenishes us.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If you can listen to or read anything, but misspelled words offend you, raise your hadn.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My advice is to write during commercial breaks, and read while your favorite TV show is on mute.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Even a broken mirror isn’t broken if it allows you to see who you really are—cracked down the middle in your duality.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Is there relationship insurance? You know, in case someone steals your significant other? If not, there should be.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’ve only been with my girlfriend for three days, but it feels like a lifetime—the lifetime of a gnat.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I respect a man not for the clothes he wears, but for the clothes he doesn’t wear. Yes, nudity is an admirable thing indeed.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My facial features smell as rugged as a rose looks. Isn’t my nose the most romantically smelling thing?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m romantic. I’ll try to make your bed while you’re still sleeping in it.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I started out on a treadmill—and I just did my first marathon. And all while sitting in a wheelchair.


This Book is Not FOR SALE

The question is not how much work are you willing to put in, but what are you willing to take out? Success is sacrifice.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

All I could do was laugh, but it wasn’t funny. I find it incredibly sad to be tickled by an orphan.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Weeping willows always remind me of summer. And sadness. Please stop crying sweet tree.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I tell you I want to be a door-to-door salesman, don’t knock it.


This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

I don’t think he’s good with people because he’s a salesman—I think he’s a salesman because he’s good with people.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The fields of science are full of crop circles that can't yet be explained by scientific means.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My girlfriend Likes Sex and the City. Trouble is, I live in the country.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Not getting laid can be a crippling experience, but then I don't go looking for sex along the interstate.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Love has a glow, like a neon light having sex with a pack of hi-lighters, only not quite as quaint.

This Book is Not FOR SALE