Quotes of: Old-books Keyword

You shit sheep shapes, and I shit wolves as brown as bark. It’s all politics.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If a policy isn’t working, don’t change the policy—change its name. That should be taught in Politics 101.

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If my initials were Y.E.S., I’d probably go around smiling all the time.

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Weeping willows remind me of summer. And sadness. I wonder if tissues are made out of their trunks.

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I used to want to be a missionary, but I don’t believe that’d be the best position for me to be in.

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Silence is golden, and gold is up these days, so silence is a solid investment.

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We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)

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He’s not my son, but his last name is Myson. Same spelling, big difference.

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Any advice I might give a depressed person comes in the form of cyanide, and usually is a bit hard for them to swallow.

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On a clear day I can see NYC. I just have to turn on the TV.

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It’s possible that I couldn’t handle the truth, but I sure wouldn’t mind fondling it to find out.

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Water is like love, but love is not like water. No, because if it were, I’d be the camel of love.

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Obviousism—I would give you a definition, but the definition would only be an example of the word.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Mosquito snobs sit on STOP signs trying to get out all the red.

This Book Has No Title

I’ll leave the door cracked, because cracked is better than broken.

This Book Has No Title

Like a 9-5 business at 4:59 pm, her legs were open.

This Book Has No Title

What’s furry, has four legs, and meows? My dinner, before I killed and cooked it.

This Book Has No Title

I’d like touch screens better if they were furry, like cats.

This Book Has No Title

I wear brown shirts to protect against the combination of coffee and clumsiness. 

This Book Has No Title

I’m going to Australia. But first I’ve got to put on my swimming suit and stretch.

This Book Has No Title

I want to get married, but first I’ll have to get a divorce.

This Book Has No Title