I didn’t chug the hairspray because I’m an alcoholic. I drank it to style my throat hairs.
This Book is Not FOR SALESnow on one side of the canvas, silence on the other. I’d call that a perfect painting.
This Book is Not FOR SALEHow’s my mom? My mother’s well, like a painting—a Motherwell.
This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucksMy life was unbalanced. That is, until I found love and grew a second leg.
This Book is Not FOR SALEI've always been one to share things. Particularly things like responsibility and blame.
This Book is Not FOR SALEI yelled at my cat to knock it off, and sure enough, he did. And it broke.
This Book is Not FOR SALEI've eaten cat food before. Of course, the menu listed it as "Chicken Lo Mein.
This Book is Not FOR SALEMy girl didn’t step out on me. She just stood in the doorway and wouldn’t close the door.
This Book is Not FOR SALEBeing an only child makes me the oldest child and the youngest child. And the middle child.
This Book is Not FOR SALEI make conversation like I make love to myself—I let my hands do all the talking.
This Book is Not FOR SALE