I love nature. It beats having to flush.
I’d start a war just to illustrate the value of peace.
People are like puzzles. Especially interconnected people, like Siamese twins.
My name is Hope Happy, and I am a pessimist.
Red calls out to the rose, but I’m the only one who’s listening.
Catholic, Episcopalian, I won’t have sects with you.
My sex life is Ok. Specifically, Oklahoma City.
I did a face plant. Ivy was her name.
The scent of success, it smells like body odor.
If I started yesterday, I’d be a master of tomorrow.
When two are united as one, I’ll be there. And so will someone else.
I treat women like royalty. But not from a Bolshevik perspective.
I drink screwdrivers because they help me unwind.
My name is Awesome Amazing. My middle name is Lee.
Courage is the chiaroscuro of characteristics. By that I mean I don’t know what I mean.
Unless I’m at a wedding, I don’t like veiled threats.
I put the “Dan” in Danger. I’m sorry, Dan.
After I’m dead, I want to ghostwrite my autobiography.
A pile of hairy towels is not a passable substitute for a dog.
Sounds have smells. Your father smells, and he’s noisy.
I’m the Robert the Bruce of Bruces. I’m also the Robert the Bruce of Roberts.
