People always say that I didn't give up my seat because I was tired, but that isn't true. I was not tired physically, or no more tired than I usually was at the end of a working day. I was not old, although some people have an image of me as being ol...
At the end of each year, I sit on the floor and go page by page through the old calendar, inking annual events into the new one, all the while watching my year in 'dinner withs' skate by. When I'm done, I save the old calendar in the box of the new o...
I know the look of an apple that is roasting and sizzling on the hearth on a winter's evening, and I know the comfort that comes of eating it hot, along with some sugar and a drench of cream... I know how the nuts taken in conjunction with winter app...
Moving is easy, exciting, an adventure - when you're young. Later, not so much. I love Massachusetts, my old home. Sometimes, late at night, I even study the real estate ads in my old hometown. But it's not even a fantasy. My parents are both gone. T...
My biggest complaint about drivers out in the country has tended to be that they're not in a great hurry to get where they're going. This is particularly true of old men wearing hats. If you get behind an old guy wearing a hat on a winding road, you ...
Someone once said that to make a regular person laugh, you need to dress a guy up like an old lady and push him down the stairs. To make a comedy writer laugh, you have to push a real old lady down the stairs. I don't know who that's attributed to. I...
What's funny is my mom took me to the theater for the first time when I was six years old, and I was just amazed by it. I just said, 'Hey Mom, can I do this too?' And so she signed me up for little theater classes, and I remember my first audition fo...
The movies remind me of the Triangle Club at Princeton. I used to belong to it, and we always started out firm in our decision to create new and startling things. We always ended up by producing the same old show. In the beginning, our enthusiasm and...
I got to live out my 11-year-old fantasies - I got to go on stage with Green Day. Billie Joe called my name from the stage. 'Dookie' was the first album I ever bought. I covered the whole of 'Nimrod' and he'd heard it. That was like the 11-year-old g...
Professor [John] Tyndall once said the finest inspiration he ever received was from an old man who could scarcely read. This man acted as his servant. Each morning the old man would knock on the door of the scientist and call, 'Arise, Sir: it is near...
I don't know the secret of Mrs. Brown, but what I do know is that there are things that Mrs. Brown says and does that Brendan O'Carroll couldn't get away with. I think maybe it's a leniency that they're with an old woman. It's the old woman thing. I ...
I had not met Tina Fey before I auditioned for '30 Rock'. Some people think we're old friends from 'Second City' days. I had always been a fan of Tina's. But I actually never planned on being in a sitcom.
Major John Reisman: How come you speak German? Joseph T. Wladislaw: My old man came from Silesia. He didn't speak German, he didn't dig coal. If he didn't dig coal, he didn't eat.
Johnny Ola: Hyman Roth always makes money for his partners. One by one, our old friends are gone. Death, natural or not, prison, deported. Hyman Roth is the only one left, because he always made money for his partners.
Mr. Goodkat: At least that's how it went with old Max, who wasn't so much old as he was tired, tired of being a dog without a day. Tired of waking up and finding his dreams were only dreams, but mostly, Max was tired of not having a front lawn.
Wendell: You think this boy Moss has got any notion of the sorts of sons of bitches that're huntin' him? Ed Tom Bell: I don't know, he ought to. He's seen the same things I've seen, and it's certainly made an impression on me.
Loretta Bell: Be careful. Ed Tom Bell: I always am. Loretta Bell: Don't get hurt. Ed Tom Bell: I never do. Loretta Bell: Don't hurt no one. Ed Tom Bell: [smiles] Well. If you say so.
Ed Tom Bell: The motel in Del Rio? Wendell: Yes, sir. None of the three had I.D. on 'em, but they're tellin' me all three is Mexican... was Mexicans. Ed Tom Bell: There's a question, whether they stopped being and when. Wendell: Yes, sir.
Foulfellow: [seeing a poster for Stromboli's puppet show] Well, well, well! Stromboli! So that old rascal's back in town, eh? [to Gideon] Foulfellow: Remember the time I put strings on you and passed you off as a puppet? [laughs] Foulfellow: We nearl...
Louisa von Trapp: I'm Brigitta. Maria: You didn't tell me how old you are... Louisa. Brigitta: I'm Brigitta, she's Louisa. She's thirteen years old, and you're smart! I'm ten, and I think your dress is the ugliest one I ever saw!
Drunk: [laughs] Things happen here about, they don't tell about. I see things. You see, they say that it's just an old man talking. You laugh at an old man, it's them that laughs and knows better. [laughs again]
