Grover Underwood of the satyrs!" Dionysus called. Grover came forward nervously. "Oh, stop chewing your shirt," Dionysus chided. "Honestly, I'm not going to blast you. For your bravery and sacrifice, blah, blah, blah, and since we have an unfortunate...
Yes. What is it, guilt, revenge, love, what?” I swallowed. “I live alone.” "And your point is?” "You have the Pack. You’re surrounded by people who would fall over themselves for the pleasure of your company. I have no one. My parents are d...
Isn't it weird," I said, "the way you remember things, when someone's gone?" What do you mean?" I ate another piece of waffle. "When my dad first died, all I could think about was that day. It's taken me so long to be able to think back to before tha...
If this were a fairy tale, this would be the part where the fishboy appears and Diana shoots him through the heart. Because he is a tragic hero, he's our fucking Gatsby, and he lived for his fish and he has to die for his fish. He would never let my ...
Okay," Christian said with a great show at maintaining his patience. "So you can't dance. But you could at least talk to the woman." Julius frowned and avoided his gaze. "I am talking." "You aren't," Christian insisted. "You haven't said more than a ...
The second thing you have to do to be a writer is to keep on writing. Don't listen to people who tell you that very few people get published and you won't be one of them. Don't listen to your friend who says you are better that Tolkien and don't have...
Toasted almond pancakes. Sweet soft 'okays'. Makin' me laugh more in a few weeks than I have in decades. 'Yes, Daddys' I feel in my dick. The first voicemail you left me, babe. I saved it and I listen to it once a day. If I lose focus, I see you on y...
When I was a little girl, everything in the world fell into either of these two categories: wrong or right. Black or white. Now that I am an adult, I have put childish things aside and now I know that some things fall into wrong and some things fall ...
Jesus waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard he died. They'd be all, "Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I died yesterday!" and the...
Becky: [on the roof about to teach Dante how to dance] Hey, Twelve-Step! [Jay looks around confused] Becky: Jay! Jay: [looks up] Lord? Becky: Up here, jackass. Jay: [moves so he can see her] What the fuck are you doing up there? Yo, if you're gonna j...
Rufus T. Firefly: [trying to decide if Chicolini, Firefly, Pinky, or Bob Roland will make a suicidal run into no-mans-land to get help] One of us has got to go get word to General Cooper and his men. One of us has got to go and risk his life for his ...
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: ...and then, Dr. Vornoff falls into the pit, and his own octupus attacks and eats him. The end. Old Man McCoy: Whew! That's quite a story. Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Yes. Old Man McCoy: So, uh, you made the movie, and now you wanna mak...
Jean Lundegaard: [reprimanding Scotty, who is eating and watching TV, paying no attention] I am talking about your potential. You're not a 'C' student. Scotty Lundegaard: Uh huh... Jean Lundegaard: Yet you're gettin' 'C' grades. It's the disparity he...
[Sonny pays a visit to his sister Connie. He is surprised to find her subdued and evasive] Sonny: [surprised] What's the matter? Huh? What's the matter? [He looks at her swollen face and understands what has happened. He pulls away to go after Carlo....
Williamson: We had a slightly burglary last night. Ricky Roma: It's nothing. I was just assuring Mr. Lingk... Williamson: Lingk? James Lingk? Your contract went out. Nothing to worry about. Ricky Roma: John, John... Williamson: Your contract went out...
Andrew Largeman: It's like the Wailing Wall. Sam: What? Andrew Largeman: The Wailing Wall. It's like the most holy place for Jews to go an pray in Israel. It's all that's left of this enormous temple that was destroyed by the Romans. Sam: So you're l...
Gangster 'Johnny': Who is it? Pizza Boy: It's Little Nero's, sir. I have your pizza. Gangster 'Johnny': Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here. Pizza Boy: Okay. [leaves the pizza on the doormat] Pizza Boy: But what about the money? Gang...
John: [to Grandpa as he sulks] Don't worry son, we'll get you the best lawyer green stamps can buy. Paul: Oh ho, it's a laugh a line with Lennon! Paul: Anyway, it's your fault. [points to Ringo] Ringo: Why me? George: Why not you? [pause, he looks ar...
[Pepper is reaching into Tony's chest cavity] Tony Stark: Okay now, the copper wire - you got it? Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Yeah, I've got it. Tony Stark: Now pull it out, gently, and just make sure you don't touch the s... [BUZZ!] Tony Stark: AH! - i...
Dad: [Trying to feed Riley broccoli] Here we go. All right, open. Joy: Hmm... this looks new. Fear: 'Think its safe? Sadness: What is it? Disgust: Okay, caution, there is a dangerous smell people. Hold on, what is that? That is not brightly colored o...
Copperhead: So I suppose it's a little late for an apology, huh? The Bride: You suppose correctly. Copperhead: Look, bitch... I need to know if you're going to start any more shit around my baby girl. The Bride: You can relax for now. I'm not going t...
