Okay, so English settlers brought rabbits with them to Australia to breed for food and stuff, right? But they escaped and basically started destroying the country, eating the vegetation, that kind of thing. So by the early 1900s, the government was t...
To be or not to be tethered to the sordid, sickly, stinking, sappy apron strings of Hollywood and its endless fondness for fu**ing your sh** up. If Shakespeare were alive today, I bet he’d write a scintillating soliloquy about the Broken Brood of B...
It is of immense importance, that first and foremost, people identify themselves as human beings, rather than as a believer in a spiritual belief system. Any spiritual belief system. There is such a preoccupation with where a person will be after he/...
Whenever people ask me, "How are your books doing?" or, "How is your book doing?" I just say, "It's okay." I mean, what am I supposed to say? I'm a writer; that means I write because I need to write, because that's how I breathe and that's how I blee...
I'm frequently asked, "Do you believe there's extraterrestrial intelligence?" I give the standard arguments- there are a lot of places out there, the molecules of life are everywhere, I use the word billions, and so on. Then I say it would be astonis...
I can't today," I said. "Maybe tomorrow?" "Can't tomorrow," said Quinn. "I have a family thing. I guess we're logistically star-crossed, Juliet." Sometimes Quinn calls me Juliet because of how we had to do that scene together, and whenever he does it...
I have seen conversations that I had three years ago, when I was young, in love, and naive. I've grown a lot since those days. I now know that love isn't just that abstract feeling, because there are so many other sides to it. Sometimes you learn tha...
J. Russell Finch: Here, [pulls a blue bicycle from the mess of furniture that fell out of Pike's van] J. Russell Finch: take this and go hire us the best car you can find. Lennie Pike: But... this is a little girl's bike. This is for a little girl. O...
Juno: Okay, have you been studying the manual? Adam: Well, we tried. Juno: The intermediate interface chapter on haunting says it all. Get them out yourselves. It's your house. Haunted houses aren't easy to come by. Barbara: Well, we don't quite get ...
[223 phones some potential dates] He Zhiwu, Cop 223: Lulu? This is Qiwu. Want to come out for a drink? You're in bed already? This early? You were asleep? Never mind. Bye. [He phones another] He Zhiwu, Cop 223: Chieko-san? Guess who? This is Qiwu. Th...
J. Edgar Hoover: We're too generous. We're too open. Now if we don't watch out, if we don't take steps now, impose some new discipline, some decency, then we're in trouble, deep trouble. And I know it's not fashionable to say this. We're celebrating,...
[Ralphie is visiting Santa at the department store, only he can't remember what he wanted] Santa Claus: How about a nice football? Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Football? Football? What's a football? With unconscious will my voice squeaked out 'footb...
Dr. King Schultz: And as if on cue, here comes the sheriff! Sheriff Bill Sharp: [Comes in tavern] Okay, boys, fun's over! Come on out. [Bill Sharp leads Schultz and Django outside while an anxious crowd watches] Sheriff Bill Sharp: Alright folks, cal...
Elliot: [upon encountering E.T., running excitedly into the house] Mom, Mom! There's something out there! Mary: What? Elliot: It's in the toolshed. It threw the ball at me. [Michael and his friends mock him loudly] Elliot: QUIET! [Michael's friends g...
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Kathy... I'm about to tell you something that I never told any girl on a first date. But I think it's important that you know... I like to wear women's clothes. Kathy O'Hara: Huh? Edward D. Wood, Jr.: I like to wear women's cloth...
Janet: [talking to Brian's camera] Brian, it's you! Hi. I'm gonna try not to wake you up. I can't believe that I stayed over. [pulls gun from holster] Janet: This, this is interesting. I have never shot one before. Maybe that could be our next date. ...
Gaear Grimsrud: Where is pancakes house? Carl Showalter: What? Gaear Grimsrud: We stop at pancakes house. Carl Showalter: What... are you nuts? We had pancakes for breakfast. Gotta go to a place I can get a shot and a beer, steak, maybe, not more fuc...
Serge X.: There's more. M. Gustave: Okay... Serge X.: To the story. M. Gustave: I get it, go on. Serge X.: I was the official witness in Madame D's presence to the creation of a second will to be executed only in the event of her death by murder. M. ...
Sam: Large. I think I see one. Andrew Largeman: [crying] Shut up. Sam: Yeah, I do. Wait, wait, wait. We should save it or something. [runs to get a paper cup] Sam: Okay, don't move! Andrew Largeman: We could put it in my scrapbook if I had a scrapboo...
Kate McCallister: Have you ever gone on vacation and left your child home? Gus Polinski: No, no. But I did leave one at a funeral parlor once. [Off Kate's look] Gus Polinski: Yeah, it was awful. The wife was distraught and we left the little tyke the...
Damon Macready: [Damon is studying security videos and blueprints for Frank D'Amico's building] We've gotta get *over* it, on *top* of it, and then *into* it! Right in the middle of it! Mindy Macready: [looks up from the computer screen she's been st...
